I met the man on Tinder and he was posing as a single man. He is a North Carolina Lawyer. His wife is suing me for criminal conversation. She first cheated on him and once he told me in was in fact married, he told me he cheated on her for revenge and because he was devastated by her affair and could not get over it, that he felt impotent, undesirable, less of a man, that intimacy in his marriage was dead, that his marriage was a sham and that after each arguments they would have, she would scream at him to just go ahead and cheat too so he would stop remembering her about her own affair. i should have stop there but at this point I was hooked and he was telling me all those things about his failing marriage. after 8 weeks he told me he realized he loved his wife and put a stop to it apologizing to me in an email for initializing all of it. I understood and wished him and her the best and jokingly wrote if he ever changed his mind and decide to divorce, to let me know since I really liked him. It was the end of our communication at that point.
It is important to know that according tho her, She feels entitle to harass me and blackmail me and sue me since he did all those things to her paramour and now they are coming after me. I feel this might be extortion of money since they are still together, living happily, going on those expensive trips, posting family and happy pictures etc, going about their lives like nothing ever happened. Which I am glad for them they were able to move on but it does raise questions. I do not know married couples being so happy after a spouse cheating…
His wife has assaulted me physically in front of my children, bullied me via internet, stalked me, harassed me and blackmailed me since she found out. Her harassment has been going on for months (5 months).I’ve done everything she’s asked of me. Quit the gym I belonged to causing me to break my contract and pay penalty fee, stop going to a store where she works even though she is not working that particular day. I never contacted them since. I was just trying to move on. I let it go and hoped she would stop and really start focusing on her marriage since they had both cheated and obviously there was issues there…unless like I mentioned this is all a sham for extortion of money… After her last attempt which was the physical assault who occurred in from of my house since she was stalking me, also occurred in front of my kids 9 and 12 years old causing them to be scared and cry, I finally called the police to put a stop to it. I’ve been living in fear so have my children.The police took my deposition and there is record of this but I did not press charges out of fear of her retaliation and did not want the police to take her to jail in front of her children. The police however when to their house and give them a warning and explained the charges she was facing (5 counts: Assault/batterie, harassment, stalking, cyber bullying/defamation & blackmailing). My children and I are fearful of this woman. She did not seem to cared so much about her husband and her family when she cheated on him for 4 months!!! They both cheated! He is letting her do all this things to me, totally throwing me under the bus here and taking zero responsibility for his cheating on her. He gets no consequence for his doing while am getting destroyed. I took her power to bully me away by contacting the police, and since she can no longer harass me how she wants, ,whenever she wants, she has now decided after 5 months to play her last card which is suing me since it the only thing she can now do to hurt me. I am not saying am innocent here but it seems to me that instead of looking at each others and figuring out the cause of the marital affair, they are blaming their marital issues on others…They BOTH cheated on each other. No one forced them to do it. Now here they are traveling, going on vacations, going about their normal married life while the poor guy (paramour) and myself are getting our lives totally destroyed. we were not the married ones here. We made a mistake but the greater mistake was made by them since there the ones married.
I am currently on Chapter 13 and can’t afford expensive representation or judgement and she knows it. My children and I have been living in fear, I’ve been having panic attacks and severe anxiety. Been unable to sleep or eat.
My questions are, If he was on Tinder scrolling for women (where we met), If she cheated first, If she’s done all those illegal things to me (Police report can prove it), It was a 8 weeks things and not a year + affair. Does she has any chance of winning her case against me? Will I get a judgment of Millions of dollars? Will I lose custody of my children? Will I’ll end up in the street since I can’t afford to hire a lawyer to defend myself, therefore most likely to lose…I read that judges do not look favorably to people defending themselves…I am so scared. These past 5 months have been hell for my my children and I. Any advice would be welcome.
Yes, it is possible that the wife may succeed in her case against you for criminal conversation. All she has to prove is that she was married to her husband at the time, and that her husband and you had sexual intercourse. You may have the defense of connivance if you were tricked into having the affair with the husband.
Assuming the wife has the funds to pursue a costly jury trial and she wins, you would probably not have a judgment against you for millions of dollars if you do not have millions of dollars accessible to you. You typically hear about such large judgments in cases like this when the person being sued is wealthy.
You can’t lose custody of your children because of the criminal conversation lawsuit.
It is not true that judges do not look favorably on people representing themselves. Judges are unbiased and will treat you the same whether you have an attorney representing you or your are representing yourself.
You can get access to a library of legal forms and communicate with an attorney through our Rosen Online Service. This service only costs $199/month, and could be a great resource for you to handle this issue without spending thousands of dollars retaining an attorney.
For more detailed information on criminal conversation, check out our article Infidelity and Alienation of Affection.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
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