Custody questions

Not a lawyer…but here’s my take. He has a FELONY record; that’s a biggie. I would hope that a judge would never grant him joint custody! I think you have a good case on retaining sole custody and you need to get a lawyer ASAP to get a court order stating it. He can’t DECIDE he wants joint custody if you don’t both agree…a judge will decide what’s in the best interest of your child. And from what you’ve stated here, it doesn’t seem like anything but supervised visitation would be appropriate. Do you have any domestic violence charges filed on him? That would be another factor in helping your case.

NO, I do not have any charges filed against him, because he never hit me. Although, I do have proof of the broken window and shattered glass on the screen door, and holes in the wall. I also had to take him to the ER the night he punched the window.

I agree that I have a good chance of getting sole custody, but I really wanted some other opinions (other than my own biased opinion). Hopefully we can settle this without a lengthy court battle…but it’s not looking good as of now.

Thanks for your response!

I would think the only way you could settle without a court battle is for him to AGREE to give you sole custody, but since you’ve been arguing for months, that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen.

Good luck to you!

I’m currently going through the exact same thing, She left the home, left me with the child and all bills, she han’t paid anything since she left she makes about $22,000 and I make about $55,000 and hers what happened, now this is the temporary custody order: I am the primary coustodian and I (suppose to). have all tie breaking dicision concerning the child. She has every other weekend and a diner night during the week(not a overnight), holidays rotate yearly as well as summer vacations. The Child Support order states I must pay her a certian amount each month(not much)but I don’t its right. So be sure you can limit his overnights with the children it really makes a big difference and it will determine what schedule the court will use in claculating payments. If you look within this site you can actually calculate the child support payment to see who and how much will need to be paid. I go to a Full Custody hearing this month so stay in touch and I might can give you some insight on things.

Thank you. Any insight I can get is greatly appreciated and helpful to me. I have been back and forth on this issue for months. Please do keep me posted…thanks again!

Yes, he abandoned you. Considering his violent nature and the fact he doesn’t seem to care, my guess is that if you tried to absolve him of his parental rights, he’d probably go for it. Yes, you’d be without the income, but you would also qualify for food stamps, Medicaid, WIC, and a host of other programs designed to help you. Look into it.

The child support is not the issue for me. I just want my daughter. I am more than capable of supporting her on my own (I am a nurse), but I don’t think that he should have visitation rights and act like he’s the good father if he is not going to support her in any way. Just doesn’t seem fair. I do not want to keep her from him…that is not my goal. I want her to be able to make her own decisions on what kind of person her father is. BUT if he is willing to sign over his rights, I’d snatch up that opportunity in a heartbeat. Talk to the attorney on Monday…guess I’ll see what I need to do from there.

I know you are trying to do the mature thing but believe me when you think it could be real quick easy and simple it wiprobably will not especially when you get lawyers involved (attorneys probably won’t agree)it will be a long costly process unless you both come to your senses and work it out. I was like you, all I wanted was custody of my son and a simple divorce, I didn’t want no support from her told her she can see him whenever she wanted to, I even told her I would keep all marital debt and she didn’t have to pay for nothing, but almost a year later, around $6000 of attorney fees and still accumalating nothing is yet to be settle, but I feel real good that thing are going to go my way but if she would have stoped and actually looked at our situation we both could have saved alot of time, frustration and money.So if you got a spouse that has common sense and is willing to listen to reason then I suggest you both sit talk and come to a reasonable agreement

My ex is now wanting joint custody instead of giving me sole custody with visitation rights, which he agreed on months ago. Now, within joint custody, there is also primary custody? What exactly does that mean? I just want to be able to make the important decisions in my childs life since I will be the one supporting her. I have a better job and home than my ex and I have supported her almost on my own since day one.I don’t want him to be able to “under-hand” me and let her do things I have told her she was not allowed to (i.e. tattoo, piercings, field trips, etc-anything a parent has to sign for) I do not want to keep her from him. I want him to have visitation, but I don’t think he is responsible enough and capable of making the important decisions in her life.

Will it hurt his case that he left the residence where I and the child live? Is that considered abandonement? He left her with me…that must mean that he thinks I am able to care for her on my own. He has also offered no support for her since he left. He also has a felony (assault with deadly weapon with intent to harm) on his record-and I have holes in my walls and have had multiple broken windows in the past. Also, I left him because I found out he involved in illegal practices. This will hurt his case also??

If we share joint custody of our child, does this mean that I have to stay in the state where it was agreed upon? Even if I am the one with ‘primary custody’? Can he keep me from moving? OR can we just agree to another visitation policy that pertains to out of state moves?

I really need some help here…We have been arguing on this issue for months now. I just want to agree on something and get the papers signed and be done with it. What is my best move?