I’m not sure what your affect your past will have on a custody case. I do not believe that a charge without a conviction can be held against you in this situation. I’m not sure the judge for custody could or would be able to “hear” this in court since the issue itself hasn’t gone to court. This really has no merit on your ability to care for your child or what kind of parent you are either. I believe that you are being intimidated.
The best thing you have done is to keep records as you have. Make sure that the courts know if you are willing to settle for joint custody with equal time but that his history with the child shows that this is not what he wants. If the judge does find out that he’s going for custody simply to reduce child support instead of for your child’s best interest he/she will not be pleased. Trust me.
I won’t tell you that you have nothing to worry about because the courts can do anything and sometimes it seems there is no rhyme or reason. But I can tell you that if you do have a good lawyer, you have kept good records, and your child is well taken care of while in your care…that will speak for itself. The threats are a bonus that hopefully your attorney can get admitted to show that he only became interested in custody after having the courts mandate child support and that he has been since trying to get you to let him pay less…
I think you should be alright.
Keep us posted and Good luck!
Thanks stepmother. It’s all really about to get to me. There is ALLOT I can use on my side. I have been VERY smart since day one! I have really been too nice up til now, and I guess he’s used to sorta getting his way, and now he’s not, so it’s getting the best of him!!! With some of the things he has done, I wonder myself if he might even get rejected visitation whenit’s all said and done. Bt we will just have to wait it out and see I guess.
He says he’s gonna have the child support stuff continued until I get convicted or whatever happens with the other case. I don’t see how he can get a continuance so many times, b/c it may be a while before the other goes to court. He has said that he’s not gonna pay me anythign else until this is all finalized. I cannot believe that this can be done. I am a single mom of a 3yr old, I need all the help I can possibly get. It’s obvious he doesn’t want joint or full custody. We just had our divorce and everything else settled in May. So now that I have filed c/s papers he all of a sudden says the past charge is unfit, and he wants his son! YEAH IT’S FISHY that all he wants is “HIS” money!! I just need all the support I can get…and I may be crazy for even being doubtful, but I can say I have heard so many things from him over the years…I guess it’s hurt my esteem. Thanks Again for the help!!! It’s really appreciated!! [;)]
Legally he can pay nothing until it is ordered by the court, but then he will have to pay areaers, in some cases going back to the date of seperation. I wouldn’t worry too much about the threats. If you are charged, that is an allegation. Not fact. Embezzlement is not a violent crime. (not saying you did it, playing devil’s advocate) At no time was the child in danger from you, custody shouldn’t be effected. But like stepmother says, courts tend to be unpredictable at times. My ex is over 7700.00 in arears, we go to court in August. again… If you worry about him paying, I suggest getting it set up through the state. That way it can be taken from his paycheck and deposited into your account. If he gets behind or doesn’t pay, the state takes him to court instead of you. I’m proof that just because you have a child support judgement, it doesn’t mean you’re going to actually get your money. Good luck.
Thanks trbotina! Well, as of now my lawyer is going for temporary child support, and that’s what I am trying to do, is to have it court ordered, so they will garnish his wages, etc. We go back to court Thursday for the temporary issue, and I guess maybe it could all be settled that day! I just have no idea what I am in for. I have never been thru such, and neither has anyone else I know! but thanks again…and I wish you Good Luck too!!! [;)]
Hi singlemomof1
I am so sorry that you are going though this I know how it hurts not just the heart but the soul and mind you think it will never end I have been there done that. What your EX is doing is wrong its not about him or you its about the little one nothing else matters but the little one and I hope both him and you can see eye to eye on this it should not matter about your court/lawsuit its about the little and the support that is needed for him.
CS is based out on income if he and you agreed to one amount but you have a signed paper that you would take this amount then there should not be any more that you should get sorry unless things change or you must wait 3 years to increase from what I read its verbal but if he has paid you (but late) and puts CS for payment then I do not know. If there is nothing that says this WELL girl have fun with him b/c he will be paying you back and front money and I hope you get it. I can not see why a parent has to do this, this is there child I do not know if you seen this movie but it got to me the movie is “are we there yet” it hurt me to see one part of this movie if you have not seen it look at it you will see what I am saying.
Myself I do not like to pay CS sorry but why I say this is because we have one week on one week off. Why I say this again its based on income I know my EX makes more then shes says self employed (cash and carry business) and to boot I pay ALL med ins and the big one braces and soon school (teenager things) she does not have to pay nothing (but a little here and a little there)so what do I do I thank the lord for making me see the light before it was to late.
I hope the best for you
Child support is based on the income of each parties. He could file a motion to deviate from the guidelines, however based on the issues you presented it is unlikely he would succeed. I do not think any of the issues you mentioned are a reason to worry about child support.
Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax
Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044
Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
THANKS ARTHURP…UPDATE last night when I got out child back from his daddy…he pretty much said that he went to the hospital, and that a man stuck the “ear” things in his mouth to check his teeth! I started asking him what ear things, and he said the cleaning things…HA QTIPS!!! I gave my son a q-tip and asked him to show me what the man did, and he basically swabbed both jaws!!! So he basically is saying his daddy took him to have a DNA Paternity Test done right??? Is that not the idea any would get from that??? He also told me that daddy said I was a crazy momma!!! EVERYTIME he has come home from being w/ his daddy & the other family, he ALWAYS has something interesting to say about me! Bottom line is…Is it legal for him to take him to get this paternity test w/o me??? And the child looks like a spitting image of him! They are almost identical! This is another one of his “tactics” to try to get out of child support!! This to me is ABOUT AS LOW as one person can get! If he thinks for some reason he’s not his then why can’t I keep our child from him since in a way he wants to deny him?
So, here we are arguing over this c/s issue, when I tried to make amends w/ him from day 1, and he couldn’t even take the “nice” way out…now he’s draggin all this out, and putting our son in the middle. I feel as if he’s gonna be this way and go to these extremes, can I ask him to sign over his rights? or something??? If he’s gonna be this way, I think my son would be better off w/o him b/c I DO NOT need him money!!! [:)]
Honestly…I wouldn’t think so at all!!! My son has had no signs of being sick! and if he was, it’s in our custody papers to make the other party aware of ANY medical conditions etc…
If that is the case then I would ask the ex why he felt it necessary to take him to the hospital. That is within your rights to ask why your son is receiving medical treatment. And unless your son was told not to tell you there’s no reason why you should not be informed…
Thanx…I may try that approach…but he’s denying it right now saying he didn’t take him anywhere, and that our sonis making all this up…SORRY but a 3 yr old would not just make that information up!!! He’s not crazy![:)]
Could you contact the hospital to find out if they have tests run on your son? If you are the primary custodial parent then they could release medical information to you…
And yes, strep swabs are taken from the throat/tonsil area not the cheek, it makes you gag and there is no mistaking that.
Also, if you are planning on using this to show in court that he is going to any lengths to get out of paying the child support…you will need a copy of the record. The sad part about this is that he would not have had to pay more or gone through any of this if he had simply paid what he agreed to. Once the courts get involved it’s difficult to get it back to an agreement stage…
Oh yeah I know…but I am tired of being nice…Dec will be 2 years I have been putting up with this mess…and I have had my limit of it, so if he wants to get nasty, I can lay it all out on the table, and get nasty with him! But how can I just call the hospital and ask them this? How would I even begin to go about that? I asked the x about all this, and he’s saying out son is just making the stuff up, and that I cannot go on anything he says! Well I know my son enough to know that a 3 yr old IS NOT going to make up this kind of stuff. I just cannot get over the depth he has taken this too, just because of the child support increasing, I tried to be nice, and settle on a lesser amount, even made a offer less that the NC c/s guidelines, and he rejected it…so the court cannot say I haven’t tried to reason with him!! I am just so stressed over this…it’s ridiculous!
Not exactly sure about that. If there is only one hospital that he could have taken him to…call and ask to speak to someone in Medical Records. You can explain the situation to them before you ask them anything. They may need a form filled out and signed requesting records but I believe that since you have custody that it shouldn’t be a problem.
This is from the US Department of Health & Human Services:
Does the HIPAA Privacy Rule allow parents the right to see their children
UPDATE: Didn’t have court today…it was continued to Aug 20th because he hired a attorney YESTERDAY!!! So, he hired a attorney to have it continued! But I guess he maybe doesn’t realize that if he loses that he will have to pay back child support! I ain’t going to be the one to tell him all this info…maybe his lawyer now will enlighten him on some issues he thinks he can win!!! I still haven’t found anything out about the paternity test issue!!
If the child was born during the marriage and your Husband acted as the father of this child, the DNA results are irrelevant. He would still be responsible for child support.
Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax
Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044
Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
UPDATE!!! Hi…I was up here a while back asking about c/s help! well we were SUPPOSED to go back to court on Aug 20th, it has been put off again, b/c he has filed a deviation of child support guidelines form, and ALSO he has filed for custody of our child, and in these papers it states, I have interferred with his and our sons relationship, and that I have been neglectful! How can he claim all this and he & I BOTH know it’s not true, and that he’s just doing all this just to get out of c/s? Yesterday he told me he didn’t want custody and that he just wanted out son for the summer…well my question is that how can he even come close to getting him for the summer when he can’t even take care of him for a weekend!..I.E. this weekend is his weekend to have him, he asked me if I cared if our son went to the lake with his g-ma, and aunt, and her 3 kids…I sure no problem. Well then he tells me HE is not going…well since he IS NOT going to be with his son the whole weekend…how is it that I am interferring and since he wants to see him so bad…how can he dump him off AGAIN on his g-ma for the weekend so he can do whatever he wants! And if our son does go with them…do I need to provide some cort of medical form saying they have permission to get him medical assistance if needed b/c this place is over a hour away? PLEASE HELP!
There is nothing in custody or visitations that says the time must be spent with the actual parent…
It’s unfortunate for your son that your ex does not choose to spend his visitation time with his son but instead chooses to let him visit with other family members. The only thing that you can do is to provide a responsible adult that will be with your son your contact information in case of emergency. Being realistic, wouldn’t you agree that if there is need of medical attention, you would want to be there instead of sending a note regardless of time of day or how far you had to drive.
Since you have a previous custody arrangement, though verbal, I would suggest that you stick to that. If there is to be an increase in visitations to include all summer, it would be a good idea to have it put in writing.