Custody Regarding Oldest Child

My oldest son is 13 going 14. He wants nothing to do with his dad. He doesn’t even want visitation. We are currently trying to settle out of court after I filed for full custody. My question is is he forced to go or can he opt out b/c of his age and preference? His dad is trying to force him to see him. My son has told me if he is forced he will run away or possibly harm himself. He has been in counseling since the separation, so I’ve go that covered. Please advise.

Your son cannot make decisions regarding custody or whether or not he wants to see one of his parents until he is 18 years old. Until then, he is considered a minor child and the parents must follow court orders.

Since you are already in litigation, it is important that the judge know your son’s reaction to proposed visits with his father. Oftentimes with older children, judges will be more inclined to hear a child’s thoughts on a custody and visitation schedule.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

We have no court order yet. That’s what I’m trying to get. We are not
officially divorced. My husband dropped him off at my house in September
b/c he wanted to live with me. Now they are estranged and my husband is
trying to force him to come back.

You do not have to agree that your son visit with his father if there is no court order and no executed separation agreement with custody terms.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.