Visitation after 14 years old

I am seperated pending a divorce and have a 14 year old son who tried to tell me that he did not want to come over for his visitation with me but, his mother made him go because she is afraid it would look like she had turned the children against their father to the judge. I told him that he did not have to go if he did not want to. His younger brother age 12 was also told the same thing. But, the younger son looks forward to his visit with me. The older son has other interest with kids in his neighborhood. That is fine with me. he will someday come back over to visit I am sure. If he does not want to see his dad, then I will not force him to come. That would just turn him against me for good. Kids go through phases and I am sure that within the next year or 2, he will be wanting to buy a car. But, since he does not feel good old dad is worth spending time with then good old dad should not be expected to fork out the cash for a car for him either.


Children do not get to make these decisions. These are parental decisions. In the event that a child refuses to go on a visit and if a parent files a motion seeking to have the other parent held in contempt the court will evaluate the parent’s role in the failure to visit. In that situation, things get murky and judges often have difficulty determining whether the custodial parent has willfully violated the court’s order.

Lee S. Rosen
Board Certified Family Law Specialist
The Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

My oldest child turns 14 on Friday. She was told by her 14 year old friend that she did not have to visit with her father if she did not want to after her 14th birthday. My daughter told me that GOD has answer her prayer. What is the truth about the age when children can decide when they don’t have to go any more?[?]