My Son

If you do not go through the courts and your STBX agrees to no visitations then all you would need to do is get it in an agreement. If he does not agree to this it will need to be decided in court and I do not think that children in NC are allowed to decide this at any age, while still a minor. Most of the time if the child is older, teenage years, the courts will not enforce as strictly a custody arrangement that they know the child will not adhere to.
Unless there are aggrivating circumstances, such as abuse, neglect or criminal behavior, children need both parents and one parent will be give visitations unless custody is shared. I believe that the courts will take the child’s wishes into consideration if there are valid reasons for the child not wanting visitations, but to do this, the child would have to go to court and tell the judge that he does not want to visit his father and explain why. I do not believe that you or your STBX would be allowed in the room when this happens and that can be extremely difficult on a child. Most children do not understand what custody really means and how it will affect their daily lives. If the separation/divorce is not amicable most of the time the children are angry at one parent or the another at some point. This is not a valid reason to deny visitations with a parent.
If there is a history recorded of abuse then that is a whole different matter.
I hope that others will post on here so that you can get some different perspectives. Good luck!

Dear Clare Davies:

Greetings. Your son never gets to make these choices under the law - since he is a minor. Once the child reaches later teens, some judges will listen to a child’s concerns, but I have not ever heard a judge say that they would not mandate that the child visit without allegations of abuse. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

I am currently split from my husband and will soon be going for a divorec. We have a 9 year old son together, but my 9 year old son does not want to see his father. What is the legal age that my son can make this choice?