Deadbeat husband


#1

I have been married for 10 years. My husband quit his job after one year to start his own business. I supported him as did my parents in this business, investing money on equipment. It was a machine/welding shop. We ended up filing bankruptcy over this investment, because he was more concerned in hunting and fishing then working. While I have slaved away working long hours at the hospital, I am an RN, paying ALL of the bills. I have complained for years about his not helping pay the bills. He then complains about me “bitching”, so then he is cold and distant. We rarely have marital relations due to the conflicts, once every 3 months. I have warned him about every 6 months that if he does not turn this situation around I will divorce him and take our two small children. His past history includes a child from his first marriage that he has not seen in 6 years, and if DSS did not threaten him to be locked up in jail for non support, he would not pay. He is always behind on the child support for his first child due to not working steady. He has provided equally the care in the home for our children so I can work, but I do just as much for his hunting and other activities. He works just enough to stay out of jail and support his smoking habit. He is loved by the children because he does coach their ball teams a lot.
He threatens me that he will take my children and make me pay alimony if I leave him. But I only make more because he has been so ‘slack’ in working by his choice. He owes my parents so much money for his business, and makes no effort to pay.
Does he have a case at all against me, even tho he has been the one that doesn’t work, and makes our marriage a cold hostile one. Is it possible with my good character, in raising my first child and strong work ethic, that I be made to support a dead beat dad.
It is like he tried to make me his ‘sugar mama’. I am 6 years older than him. I never meant to be the primary bread winner, he actually promised to put me out of work for me putting up the money for his business. That is why I had the two children, and I meant to spend more time with them. Instead I have had to work more due to his slack nonchalant does not care if a bill gets paid or not. Because he knows I will work extra or borrow from my parents. When we split can he be made to pay back the loans from my parents? And can he get alimony? And do I have to file papers before I move out? And can he be made to move and me stay, since he can not afford the house?


#2

Unfortunately yes, your husband does have an alimony claim. The circumstances of your marriage make him the dependant spouse, and unless he has committed some sort of marital misconduct he will be entitled to receive support from you.
With respect to the loan from your parents it is a marital debt and it will be included in the marital estate upon division. A word of caution though, debts to relatives are often scrutinized by the courts and are sometimes not recognized unless there is a promissory note.
Absent physical abuse you cannot make him leave the home at the time of separation. Once you are separated you will need to file an action for property distribution which should include what is called a motion for interim distribution in which you would ask the court to distribute possession of the residence to you (and the children) pending a final property distribution.