Divorce questions


#1

I have been married for 28 years and my husband wants a divorce. I have not worked since 1992 staying at home to take care of our two children. Both of them are special needs children.

Question #1- AM I entitled to alimony ? If so, for how long?

Question #2 - Does he have to pay for my healthcare?

Question #3- What about Child support? My oldest is 18 but my son is 15 . He will not be out of High school at 18. is there any way to get child support past the age of 18?

Question #4 - He wants to seel our house first and then file for divorce. Is this a good idea or a bad idea for me?

Thanks

Melissa


#2

I am not an attorney…

  1. You certainly can file an action for post separation support and then alimony. Unless there is marital fault on your part (infidelity, abuse), you stand a very good chance of being awarded alimony, assuming you are the dependent spouse (sounds like you are with no job). The amount and duration can be negotiated or determined by a judge. I believe the duration is typically 1/2 of the duration of marriage, or 14 years in your case.

  2. I don’t think he HAS to pay for your health care, however, it can be negotiated as part of the overall pss and alimony.

  3. Child support usually goes until the child is 18 or finishes high school. If the child is still actively attending high school for his degree, then I believe CS continues.

  4. Do not leave the house. If you can afford it with the PSS/Alimony, keep it. Whatever equity has built up in it will be part of your equitable distribution share. He cannot force you from the home. There is such a thing as divorce from bread and board (forcing one party to leave the home) but I believe that usually is only consider under cases of infidelity and/or abuse.

Do you know why he wants a divorce? I would look heavily to see if there is infidelity on his part. That will stack the cards in your favor as far as alimony and getting him to leave the home. It won’t affect distribution of property or custody issues however unless you can show he’s an unfit father. In any case, if he wants a divorce and you don’t, then use that to your advantage in negotiations. He wants out…The longer you drag it out, the more he’ll concede in negotiations.


#3

Thanks

He is an unfit father. Because his father beat and abused him and his 2 siblings, my husband thinks that he is a better father because he just verbally abuses the children. No I do not think that he has been unfaithful because he is a horrible person with no friends and co-workers have actually asked me how I have stayed married to him. He wants out because he does not feel that I and the children treat him correctly. We do not show the proper respect due him, as king of the castle. When my son 15 years , talks back my husband wants me to do something about it . I do not think that it is that big a deal so I do not due anything. This makes my husband mad. My husband has been DX with PSTD and DID and he refuses to get help for those issues . He will not go to see a counselor for himself or marriage counseling or for him and our son. He and our son went for counseling for a few weeks ,7-8 months ago. They were suppossed to do sometrhing fun together. My husband wanted them to pull weeds or rack up wet leaves.My son is allegric to most things outside, including mold which comes from wet leaves. My son said no and that was the last time they went for counseling.

Melissa


#4

You will have to PROVE he is an unfit father. If DSS becomes involved they will also look at your own behavior. Whether you keep the house is up to you and your financial state. If you cannot afford the house then keeping it is useless.


#5

I do not want this house but I need to know what is the best way for me. Is it selling the house as a married couple or is it better to sell the house after the SA has been signed?That is what I am trying to find out

I do not really need to prove he is an unfit father. He hates his son and the feeling is same for my son. Neither one wants anything to do with the other one. AS for my 18 year old, some days she likes him and others she cannot stand him. It all depends on how he is acting
Thanks
Melissa


#6

The house is marital, so if you don’t sell it, then you will need to buy him out of his half of the house, and or trade some other asset for it. If you sell it while married all profit/debt will be split amongst you. I personally feel (I am not a lawyer), that if you do not want to keep the house then it’s a wash and it’s rather irrelevant whether you sell it now or later.


#7

You may be entitled to alimony depending on the particular facts of your case, ie how much he earns and if he has the ability to pay. The statues do not specify a term of alimony, but rather lists a number of factors the court is to consider when determining the amount and duration of alimony. You can view the entire list under the statutes section of the Alimony tab. Your ex can be required to provide insurance for you up to and after the divorce through COBRA if the court rules that he do so.
You can receive child support for your youngest until he graduates high school (or turns 20 whichever occurs first).

I cannot advise you on whether or not the house should be sold at this point will out a full review of your case.


#8

Thank you very much.

Is there any way to get him out of the house NOW if he does not want to go? He is verbally abusive and my son and I cannot live this way any longer?

Melissa


#9

You may seek a divorce from bed and board, which is a judicially ordered separation. The judge can award a DBB and give one party possession of the home in cases where marital fault is present. ( physical abuse, adultery, malicious turning out of doors, ect.) In my opinion a judge would not order a DBB in a case where only verbal abuse exists.


#10

Thanks for your help
Melissa


#11

I wish you all the best.