I have been divorced for a year. I had an affair while married and continued seeing the paramour who is also married. He has been separated now for 9.5 months and we intend to marry. This paramour has met my children and my ex knows this. My ex has been telling our children that the paramour is “bad”. Recently, he told my 10-year-old daughter that the paramour had done something really bad (the affair, I assume) and that I know what it is, and told her not to tell me because it could cause a lot of “legal action”. She asked me what that meant.
I am wondering if he is secretly planning some sort of legal action on me like a custody battle, as he obviously does not want the paramour around the children.
Does dating the paramour cause me risks to custody? We do not have a custody agreement in place, but my daughter refuses to stay with him so my son stays there every-other-weekend. I have been the custodial parent since the separation and have not filed for child support. Recently he got a job and asked me for child care, child insurance costs, etc so he could calculate the support. Now I am wondering if his lawyer suggested he needs to establish a history of child support prior to filing for custody.
Am I just being paranoid?