Greetings. First, remember that the 12 factors don’t “determine” the equitable distribution, but they affect whether or not the equitable distribution is equal.
Now, to the questions:
Yes, he is entitled to half of the marital portion of your retirement, but only the marital portion. I think your clear goal to retain your retirement is a negotiating factor, but I doubt the factors you mentioned in this question will make his ability to get 1/2 your retirement any less.
No, this argument is not pursuasive. You are talking about court, which should not be your goal. If you and your spouse agrees on this, it should not be an issue. This is a moral issue, one of fairness between spouses.
What you have described is not wasting marital assets. Wasting generally involves the issues you have described - gambling, drinking, drugs.
It sounds to me like you have a feeling that the negotiations with your spouse are not going well or that you will lose out. The settlement does not have to be unfair. My suggestion is that you hire a caring attorney to help you negotiate for what you need. Best of luck.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.