I was wondering the same thing. My husband has another woman, and I was worried that if I start to date or show interest in another man, will that be considered adultery.
Also how do you prove there are sexual relations ? With DNA testing ? Do you need physical evidence or just testimony ?
Dear Twiceloser, webbster, and crzysprtbk:
Greetings. The answer is that you can NEVER have sex with someone other than your spouse while you are still legally married or it will be considered adultery. Now, whether that adultery matters for alimony is a different time review…we look for the adultery to be at the time of the separation or shortly thereafter to matter for alimony. In North Carolina, after the date of divorce, you can have sex and it will not be considered adultery (it will be fornication though, which is a whole other crime, unless you are married to the person you are having sex with…which means marrying again and starting all over!)
Typically yes, one can date, e-mail, and converse…but it is better to have a signed separation agreement before that begins.
Testimony is evidence of adultery, but there are also admissions and other ways to get this evidence.
Thank you.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
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Dear Wise One (even though I wish you were wrong in this case)
Darn. The fish in my pond are bedding and I can’t.
I’ve been of the opinion all along that all of the delays have been to punish me. For what reason I don’t know, except “If I can’t have you, then nobody else can.”
All I can do is to start badgering legislators for changes in the law which might help others in the future, since I have a lot of time on my hands. "Counting flowers on the wall, it don’t bother me at all. Playing solitaire till dawn . . . "
Thanks,
Twiceloser
Dear Twiceloser:
The comedy never stops with you…LOL [:D][:o)][:D][:o)]
Now, what are you waiting to have heard and why can’t you come to an agreement?
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
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Dear Wise One,
Best of luck with the Mother’s Day gift. I like the spa idea, gave it to my Ex several times, but the gift sort of depends on your mother’s age. She might like to “spa” together, which gives you a great excuse to relax. My Mom has severe dementia, so please spent every minute you can with your Mom, OK?
As for me, I remain in limbo; no court date, no formal offer of a separation agreement. Her lawyer informed mine that he had filed a motion for a change of venue, but apparently forgot to formally file said motion. My lawyer informs him of his slip up, and what grounds he should use, which totally baffled old dummy here. I would have let him drowned in his ignorance. I still think all the delay is an attempt to soften me up, and/or give her a chance to kiss and make up. No chance of that after all of this misery. As with most people, the unknown is my greatest fear.
I have in mind bringing you guys a little gift to repay you for all the great advice. Please email me at twiceloser@yahoo.com for the details.
From the NC Monastery,
Twiceloser
Dear Twiceloser:
Before that e-mail…have you made a settlement offer?
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
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Dear Thoughtful Daughter,
We haven’t done s . . squat, except produce tax records and financial data. When I inquire about why we don’t have an active defense, I get replies like “We don’t want to rock the boat,” and “It’s not costing you a lot of money to do nothing.” I’m ready to blow the boat out of the water. I don’t mind taking my licks when I’m wrong, but when I’m right, I’ve always been one to defend myself. And I have no objection to making a reasonable offer just to regain my freedom.
In addition to paying a reasonable fee, I’ve baked his office staff two fantastic pound cakes(hint), and bags of fresh vegetables. I just don’t want to be around long enough for a second crop to come in.
“Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.” - Mark Twain
Twiceloser
Dear Twiceloser:
Demand a settlement offer in the form of a separation agreement be drafted and sent to the opposing side. You cannot settle without an offer. Thank you.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
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Dear Defender of Truth, Justice, and the American Way,
I just finished faxing a letter to my lawyer asking that he send a Property Settlement offer to my wife’s lawyer. The reasons I listed for such a move was as follows:
At my age I didn’t care to remain in a war of attrition, which is the sole reason there has been on offer from my wife’s counsel; I was tired of being referred to as “Defendant”, when I have done nothing that I need to defend myself from; We have the money, she has the time, therefore we need to use the money to make her spend her money; I wished to show that we are making a good faith offer to settle the matter; and last but not least, even though my lawyer is a UNC graduate, I always despised the Dean Smith “4-corners” method of stalling a basketball game. Even though it was hard for Mr. Smart A to refrain himself, I tried to do this in a professional manner.
Hopefully I will have a positive response soon.
Thanks so very much for all of your help, advice, and understanding way.
Twiceloser
Dear Wise One and other Board Participants,
In the short time since my last post, I have discovered that her lawyer has filed something which means I will be going to court.
I really don’t understand a legal system which puts me through all of this when she has yet to make any demands to which I could respond. I suppose it will be in my best interest not to post anything further on this matter. In my opinion, the only parties to benefit from such a move is the two lawyers.
Thanks to all and God Bless!
Twiceloser
Dear Twiceloser:
Greetings. Please make sure that you do make an offer to move towards settlement and keep yourself out of the legal system. Also, let us know as things move forward how you are doing. Thank you.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
I’ve read post after post, and am still unclear at what time a person involved in a divorce can legally have sex without it being considered adultry. Is it only after a final divorce decree, or after a year of separation, or after a property settlement, or what? Please excuse my ignorance. Lack of sex tends to affect the flow of blood to one’s brain. Just my theory, mind you.
Along these same lines, can one date, email, and converse with a member of the opposite sex, and not get into trouble as long as there is no sex involved?
Twiceloser