Grandmother trying to take daughter; can she?


#1

I know this is very long and I am sorry… but please help!


#2

I just thought I’d add some other stats that might help out:

My boyfriend is 27, his ex is 25. Me and my boyfriend have a stable home, we lived here for months and we have a room for the daughter.

Ex wife doesn’t currently have a stable home, so she told the lawyer that her ex husband and I will be the main caregivers until she can get a steady place, although they are still going to do joint custody. She just wanted it to be known to the court that we would keep her in our stable home until she had a place.

Me and my boyfriend have a healthy, well 6 month old, and ex wife has a healthy, well 1 year old. Also, she is pregnant and due to have another child in September.

UNFORTUNATELY, both of them have past criminal records, nothing too serious, nothing involving sex offenses or anything like that. BF was in trouble a lot in his teens, late teens, but last year was arrested twice. One for getting into an argument and threatening a friend of ours, before he was on his bipolar meds, and the other was for “assault with a deadly weapon” after getting into a fight with his stepdad about his daughter. His stepdad started it and hit him first, I was there, so I know. His stepdad was taunting him about having my boyfriend’s daughter in his home and some stupid crap about how if my boyfriend couldn’t even cut the grass, then he didn’t need to have his daughter. But before we could get to the police station, suprise surprise, my boyfriend’s stepfather and mother were there, filing charges.

Both cases were dropped when he got on his bipolar meds but they could still bring it up in court. The lawyer said he will bring up that it was frivolous charges, since my bf’s stepdad got charged with making frivolous charges or something like that, whatever it’s called. He’ll mention that it was dropped… but it can still be used against him though, right?

Plus the ex wife was recently arrested for assaulting some woman, who has left the state and isn’t even going to court about it… the ex wife says it did not happen, that the woman was angry with her, and I don’t really know.

But how will that effect them, as well?


#3

I can answer general questions about custody on the board, however in order to give you an opinion about how to change a custodial situation I would need to meet with you in person and discuss your specific circumstances.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com/live for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#4

Ms/Mrs Nevicosi, as much as we would like to meet you and speak with you or any of the Rosen attornies, we cannot afford the Rosen firm’s service. The lawyer my boyfriend and his ex wife are using now is dirt cheap, $400 for custody. He’s also not the world’s most brilliant attorney.

I guess a more general question would be: are a grandmother’s chances of gaining full custody of her grandchild good if she has had temporary custody of the child for 3 years, although the parents want her back, and both have siblings of the child living in their respective homes? I guess basically we just would like to know how good her chances are in your opinion.


#5

A parent’s right to custody are paramount to any one else. However, if the child has been doing well with the grandmother. The parent’s likelihood of succeeding in court will depend on how involved the parent’s have been with the child over the past few years.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com/live for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#6

Ms Nevicosi, thank you for your reply. The lawyer dropped out of the case because he has talked with some judges and they have said they will side with my boyfriend’s mother.

I am sorry to bother you again but I have another sort of general question pertaining to this… You said their likelihood of succeeding in court depends on how involved the parents how been… what if the parents have been involved on many occasions, but then on other occasions, the grandmother has denied them visitation although the papers gave them supervised visitation? She has already told them both she plans on telling a judge they supposedly don’t come to see their daughter. They have no way of really proving that she’s lying other than witnesses such as myself and a few others. But not solid proof.

So basically, my general question is, what are their likelihood of winning, in your opinion, if the grandmother who has temporary custody is telling the judge lies about them supposedly not seeing their daughter, when she’s the one who denied them visits?

Also, do judges consider the fact that the minor child has siblings living in the parents’ respective homes? Do they consider that the child should grow up with their siblings???


#7

Today my child’s father and his ex-wife and I went to Legal Aid. Legal Aid refused to help them because apparently my child’s father’s mother had already been there to recieve help (apparently she’s getting lawyered up as well) and the lady at Legal Aid told them they could not help them because it’s “adversarial.” I just don’t understand how Legal Aid can refuse to help anybody who would qualify for their help.

Also, we went to a lawyer who’s well known in this county, and he told them he already knew about the whole case, and he said he wouldn’t touch it with a 24 foot pole, quote, and he doesn’t know of ANY lawyer that would. He said the ex wife’s attorney needs to fix things and that he screwed up badly. He said all of the lawyers and judges have been talking about this controversy and that none of the judges want to hear it and none of the lawyers want to even attempt to touch the case.

How in the world does anyone proceed from there? How is this even legal for them to be biased like this? How in the world can parents get their own rightful children in the midst of this?

I’m just so worried that my boyfriend’s mother will come after my child next. And I just want my son and his half sister to be able to grow up together. How is this even possible that no one will help us?


#8

Legal aid cannot help both parties because it is a conflict of interest to represent individuals who have conflicting interests.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com/live for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#9

Hi again, and also, my apologies to keep asking question after question. I don’t mean to be annoying or anything. I do have another though (I apologize ahead of time.)

How do parents get their rightful child back when they can’t afford lawyers and legalaid can’t help? Is there any legal loopholes or whatever it’s called? Are there any options under the law that can be done? (Other than doing it pro se, for they would surely lose.)


#10

There are no loopholes, you would have to set a hearing date and go to court. Being pro se is intimidating but it can be done.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com/live for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#11

This might be long, but I really need some good advice, please. Please help us. I know this is a lot to ask and you lawyers are very busy, but please, please take the time to read this carefully and see how you can help us. This is very serious… I’m speaking on behalf of my boyfriend and his ex wife.

Well, over 3 years ago, my boyfriend and his ex wife seperated, and she took custody of their daughter to court. She had been investigated by social services a few times during the marriage (all due to his mother’s interference and lies.) The social services case was closed. Unfortunately, my Bf also was comitted to a mental hospital for 2 days right before she left. He was released when the doctors said he was perfectly fine (he says she had him committed to leave, she told me that he was acting pretty crazy. Being that he is bipolar, and finally realized he had a problem and got on meds last year, I believe her.)

Both of these things, her getting investigated by social services, and he going to the hospital, was brought up in court. My boyfriend’s mother was trying to control everything in their lives and she was ultimately the demise of the relationship. She got her way. And in court, she was doing most of the talking. She was there with her son, supposedly, and of course was badmouthing the ex wife.

Well, what happened was that my boyfriend’s mother was given temporary custody although she hadn’t entered any motion between them. The judge just for some reason decided it was best at that time until their issues were resolved. My bf and his ex wife were ordered by the judge to get an evaluation by a pricey LCSW, who also was to talk to the grandparents. Interestingly, after talking to Bf’s mother, who was supposedly on his side, she wrote a report saying she felt it was best the minor child stay with the grandmother at that time. They were also supposed to continue to be investigated by social services (although the case had been closed) and take parenting classes. Both of them were only to have supervised visits at their respective mother’s homes.

Interestingly enough as well, my boyfriend’s mother broke the court order often, allowing him to have his daughter over and have sleepovers, as long as he was pandering to her, basically. She is a very controlling, domineering woman. Of course, she didn’t allow my boyfriend’s ex to have unsupervised visits because she claims that his ex wife was abusing their daughter. But the real truth was, she just couldn’t get along with her and tried to ruin their relationship and take over their child.

Well, during these 3 years my boyfriend has been wanting to take this back to court and get his daughter back. But his mother kept telling him, no, it’s not a good time, no, you’re not ready, no, this and that, and his lawyer told him he wasn’t going to take it back to court until his mother said he was ready. (Unethically, the lawyer talked to his mother behind his back.) She would tell my boyfriend that a judge would listen to what she had to say, and that she had control over it. They would argue about it, and then all of a sudden she would refuse him visitation. Then, she’d tell his family that he wasn’t coming to see his daughter when she is the one who told him not to.

Ex wife had a child with someone else during this time, who is now a year old, and he is well and healthy and NOT abused. Me and my boyfriend also had a child who is 6 months old, also well and healthy and not abused. His mother tried the same stuff with us, trying to start trouble to get rid of me, claiming she was going to get my baby too. Claiming I slept all day and didn’t take care of the baby, which is exactly what she said about the ex wife. I then knew that everything she had ever said about my boyfriend’s ex wife was a lie, and that this was a very vindictive, evil woman. She has refused to have anything to do with our son because she is not allowed to raise him. And she told my boyfriend he needed to choose between child 1 and child 2, and told him he wasn’t allowed to see his daughter, or she’d call the cops on him. Although he was legally allowed visitation.

Ex wife came up to the house 2 months ago, and talked to me, since my boyfriend was at work. Our stories concerning his mother and her ways was very similar. She wanted to be civil with him, end the court bickering, and get joint custody with him, and also get their divorce which had never been done. She was also sick and tired of his mother telling her she wasn’t going to let it go back to court. And she was sick of her daughter calling her by her first name, because they brainwashed her into doing so. So she and my boyfriend talked and agreed upon doing joint custody.

My boyfriend told his lawyer to either represent him despite what his mother said, or be fired. The lawyer refused to be fired, and withdrew instead. (I guess that’s the same thing, I dunno.) So my boyfriend was going to represent himself, since he and his ex wife had a common interest. So they got divorced and the court date for the custody thing was last week. Well, her lawyer kept telling them that his mother was not a party to the action and thus, didn’t have to be there in court, they could just go to court and get custody, since their issues with eachother were resolved, and his mother had nothing to do with it. So her lawyer brought the custody thing in front of the judge, without mentioning that there was a temporary custody order in effect, stated that the plaintiff and defendant previously in the past had issues concerning child custody, but had resolved them and came to an agreement… and the judge signed off on it, granting them their joint custody.

So, all three of us and the two babies go to his mother’s house to get their daughter, and his mother starts raising hell, refusing to give her up. Saying that since she had temporary custody and didn’t recieve a notice of hearing, she wasn’t going to give her up. So they had to call the deputies, and she was still refusing to do it. They told her she had to and they even called the judge to prove it to her. So she had to give the daughter up, but refused to give them any of her clothes or anything. She threatened them, saying that this was only temporary, and she would be getting full custody. She said she was gonna tell a judge how neither of them supposedly ever have anything to do with their daughter and all sorts of other lies. She told us she was going to go talk to the lawyer and left after us.

So the child’s mother had her friday evening, and the daughter had a fantastic time. She arrived back with us unscathed and very happy. She was still calling her mom by her name but we kept correcting her and she finally started calling her Mommy. Then that weekend, she was having a really good time with us. But Saturday, his scheming mother tried to call the deputies on us for a child welfare check, saying that we weren’t taking care of her medical needs and etc etc. The deputy was the same deputy who had to come out to her house on that friday, so he called us, said she was just being vindictive, and ordered her to give her son the daughter’s breathing treatments. (Later on, my bf’s brother told him that the girl hadn’t even needed her breathing treatments in a long time.)

Sunday, my boyfriend’s mother arrived at our house with 2 deputies, and a paper from the judge, rescinding the joint custody order! It had no just cause, just said that the judge rescinded his judgment from friday, and the original temporary custody order was back in effect. Boyfriend’s daughter DID NOT want to go… but had to. I called ex wife and she shot up here, and we had no idea how in the WORLD that woman had managed to pull that crap. The lawyer was shocked because he had assured them that something like that could never happen. When my boyfriend called her and asked her how she did it and why, she claimed she feared for her granddaughter’s safety. So, my boyfriend asked her well, if Shelby is in danger, then why not Mike? (Our son, her grandson.) She said, “I don’t know,” and hung up on him. After a couple of days, and all of us doing more detective work than the lawyer, they found out what happened. My boyfriend’s mother had been calling the clerk of court’s office since friday, raising hell about how she had temporary custody and didn’t even recieve notice of hearing, and blah blah blah, and she supposedly feared for her granddaughter’s safety, and then was talking to magistrates and deputies, and they got up with the assistant DA, who believed her bullcrap and called the judge AT HIS HOUSE… and he came in on a SUNDAY to rescind his order. He was angry at ex-wife’s lawyer that he had not brought the temporary custody thing to his attention, nor the other factors. He felt like he had been duped, basically. He told the clerk of court ( who knows my boyfriend personally and called him at our house later to tell us this:) that since she had temporary custody, he had to hear what she had to say as well. ex wife’s lawyer kept telling all of us, well, she’s not a party to the action so she has nothing to do with it! Well apparently, all the judges will have to hear what she has to say.

so this isn’t over… we’re gathering the witnesses to say how both of them are mature and fit parents, and the lawyer is gonna bring up in court why is her granddaughter in danger, but she doesn’t seem to mind that her grandson is in this supposedly dangerous situation? And my boyfriend’s psychologist evaluated all of us with our children, and told the lawyer there was no reason why my boyfriend and his ex wife shouldn’t have custody. He is going to be a witness in court. and my boyfriend has a pastor who is going to be a witness for them in court.

Her lawyer said he is going to argue that my boyfriend’s mom is not a party to the action, to try to keep her mouth shut, and also try to impeach her from the trial, to keep her mouth shut.

That kinda says to me that he thinks the judge will believe my boyfriend’s mother’s lies, especially since she managed to hang on to the daughter for 3 years.

Why would a judge listen to that woman over the child’s own parents? Don’t parents have any rights anymore??? Plus, that woman is keeping her granddaughter from having anything to do with her parents AND her siblings. She deserves to grow up with her siblings, not be isolated with “Grandma”! But she doesn’t care, because she took out a life insurance policy on both her AND my son, who she refuses to have anything to do with. The lawyer thinks there is possibly monetary benefits she’s recieving and that’s why she doesn’t want to give the child up. But who knows for sure. All we know is, it’s sure funny how her granddaughter is in danger from all of us but not her grandson! Plus that supposedly abusive mother, (my boyfriend’s ex wife) is a wonderful mother to her son, and since I’ve got to know her, I’m gonna vouch for both her and my boyfriend. And his mother is going to play the loving concerned grandmother role, crying like she did when the deputies came up to the house. She’s going to lie about my boyfriend, about my boyfriend’s ex wife, and everyone else involved. She has a notebook where she writes down everything that happens, to use against them… (which is stuff that SHE half created, and half started herself!)

I just don’t understand why a judge needs to consider this woman’s word over the child’s own parents… it’s not right that she could gain full custody of THEIR child, especially when she’s been brainwashing the child and alienating her from her siblings! And she’s a great liar. She really is. She has so many people believing her garbage about the ex wife, her own son, me…

Are her chances of gaining custody of their daughter good? The lawyer is setting a new court date sometime this week, an add on to the calendar, and are giving her notice of hearing. My boyfriend’s mother cannot afford a lawyer and has not yet tried to enter in a motion for custody in this pending trial. It is still ex-wife versus ex husband and they still want joint custody. But a judge is going to give her time to speak and that’s not right.

So my questions are this: Are her chances of gaining custody of their daughter good, despite the fact that they have other children? This has gone on for 3 years so I think a judge might want to just keep the daughter with her evil grandma. Also, what in the world happened to parents’ rights? Do they still have more rights than her? What can we do, how can we win this? Will a judge likely decide to believe her since she’s had the daughter for 3 years?