Long-time lurker, first-time poster. I’ve been married to my 2nd wife for six years. Our children are grown, at least in age. Wife was from out of state - one of those long-distance romances. She moved here, and one of her sons followed shortly after. Six years later, he has no more today (no job, no place of his own, no vehicle, no money, no drivers license) than when he moved here. His mom still jumps at his beck and call. This “child” is 27 years old, and I’ve about had it. However, there are times when I question myself if I am being fair. His mom is all this boy has - he has no one else to call on when he needs something. I know he should grow up and be a man, but frankly I have my doubts if that will ever happen. We have made loans to him to help get him started, but it’s all been poured down a black hole, and will probably never see that money again. Part of me says, when I married your mom, I didn’t marry your sorry a** and all your problems. The other part of me says, if it were your child, would you be the same way? Blood is thicker than water so I already know an ultimatum will do no good, and an ultimatum is not right anyway. I think the best thing to do, if I do anything, is just to say, I’m not happy, I don’t think this situation is ever going to change, so I’m leaving.
Maybe I’m just being selfish, I don’t know. Seems like I’ve lived with this for so long, I’m beginning to doubt my own judgment.
I look forward to any advice/opinions.