Help! My Husband Is Out Of Control!

Dear Maria C:

I know that this is a very hard situation for you and your children to experience. You say that your formal separation agreement has not been signed, but you do not say whether you have legal representation in that process. It is possible to agree in a Separation Agreement that neither parent will visit with the children with an unrelated person of the opposite sex until the mother and father are actually divorced. This provides for some period of time for the children to adjust to the fact that their parents are divorcing without the additional of an extra stress of a third party.

It sounds as if you tried to discuss this with your husband and he was unwilling to listen to your position. He may feel that the resistance to his actions are yours, and not the children’s view. Perhaps he would be willing to speak to your child’s school counselor and the counselor could provide some insight about how the visitations that include your husband’s new girlfriend are adversely affecting your child.

With regard to your question about “legal recourse,” I am assuming tht you mean would a court rule that your husband had to visit with the children without his new girlfriend. Yes, it is quite possible that a judge would rule that your husband must exercise visitation alone, at least for some period of time. Child custody court orders often include provisions that say that when the children are in the custody of either party (this includes overnight visitation), that party may not have overnight romantic visitors.

However, you might be interested in some legal recourse against your husband’s new girlfriend. You should read the Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation information on our website.

Good luck to you and your children!

Robin F. Verhoeven
Attorney at Law
Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 200
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

Long story short, My husband of almost 12 years had an affair with a woman he hired and left our family (we have 2 kids) in early November. The children are having a very hard time dealing with this as it was a shock to them (and me). I have encouraged him to spend alot of time with them, but he only sees them once a week for a few hours each time. One of our children has been talking with the school counselor to help her deal with her feelings. Our formal separation agreement has not even been signed yet. When he picked up the children for his last visit, he took them out and his paramour joined them. They were professing their love for each other and calling each other “Babe”. They were very affectionate with each other. This scene has upset our children terribly. He told them that she would be joining them next time as well. They just want to spend time with their dad alone. Do I have any legal recourse in this situation?