Welcome to the forum, I have read your post but I’m not sure what your exact question is. In general it is best to work out custody without going to court. However, you should not agree to something you do not believe is in your children’s best interests, as their parent, you are the person who is in the best situation to know what would be best for them?

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

Hi, I’m new to this forum, but have a few questions… I have been married for 12 years (in Sept.) during which time my husband has abused alcohol consistently for the entire time. He also obtained his Ph.D in the course of our marriage, while I worked on and off, part time or whatever was required at the time in order for our family to “make it.” We separated in March of 05, and reconciled in March of 06, but soon after that it was clear that we really didn’t have much to work with in terms of our marriage. He is a very angry and competitive person and I have found it to difficult to “reason” with him. He has now painted himself as the Great Dad to our two daughters (9 and 12) by buying them everything they could ever want, even when we have discussed my disapproval of items such as hair dye and make-up. In the meantime, I have been villified by him and the kids, moreso my 12 year old, and feel completely fed up with the way they all treat me (no respect, making commands all the time, etc.) I’ve got 6 more months to go until I finish nursing school and we have decided to sell the house at that time and go our separate ways. I have been fearful to allow him to have 50% custody because of his manic/hypomanic, drunken, verbally abusive behavior, but now the girls seem to think he’s the greatest and I’m left out. I hate that this has become a horrible competition with the kids in the middle, but that’s what it seems to have come to. Part of me wants to tell him, Fine, buy me out of the house right now, so I can start my life on my own, and we’ll split the time with the kids too, (until they see what a jack— he really is. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.