Dear Whammy:

First, thank you for your service on behalf of all of us here, back home. Yes, you will have a home and you should plan on coming back into your home.

Next, you may want to file a custody action upon your return, as well as a divorce from bed and board. This will allow you and your wife time to discuss things, but with some deadlines for a resolution in the event you cannot. It will highlight the behavior which she does not want known and does not want to come to terms with.

Also, I suggest that you change your spouse’s access to unrestricted funds. This may assist her with her need for finding a job. Best of luck and please keep us posted.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney at Law
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 200
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

I never did say thank you for your response to my first posting. I did go home and remain home with our children. Your advise DID put me at ease. With no other real resourses available while being away from home like I was I appreciated this site - Thank You!

Now, after a VERY LONG process (which I consider to be very unhealthy for all involved to be forced to live together under such circumstances)we are finally moving to bed & board. I have an appointment with my attorney soon but I do have a few questions now that the date has been set.

Is it possible for this proceeding to take longer than a day? Will the judge make his/her decision that same day? How long will the party that needs to leave be given before they are required to move out? If the judge orders her to committ herself for treatment then what - would she be able to move back in after that?

Sad to say she still has not made any attempt to help herself. No job and still drinking. The children though have made some positive steps and I will continue counseling with them and pray the judge will understand through the evidence they are not safe alone with her at this time.

Waiting for your reply, I have learned a great deal of patients having to WAIT! [:)]

Situation: Married 20 yrs, 2 minor children in grade school, sole providor since the beginning of the marriage, Military man, I am deployed and will return home within a month.

I just have been made aware by a substantial depletion in funds that my wife is filing for seperation. She wants the house and the children and I’m sure half of anything else she is entitled to.

My wife is an alcoholic. Prior to my deployment I tried to get her to seek help and she refuses to see her problem. It has been a very trying time for me being gone now.

What do you suggest I need to do in order to win custody of my children. What type of evidence is necessary. Would eye witnesses to her behavior be sufficiant? She has also taken up the internet life and in my absense has gone to meet people and also has had a man and woman at our home overnight while the children were there.

I would be willing to work on our marriage but I find that difficult unless she sees her drinking as a main factor in our problems. Our children are suffering, I know from family members that they defend their mother which I can undertsand but I know deep inside this has to have them in a state of confusion, if not filled with anger. My heart is breaking.

I’ve provided the best I could and I know I will loose a great deal but all I care about are the children, the rest will be split even though I have asked her to take on some type of job once the children started school just so she could be active in society. She refused it make me feel she has been very calculating.

Will I even have a place to stay when I get home?? I don’t want to leave the house!

Thank you in advance for your consideration in answering my question.