I am making an offer to buy her out of the house, but I don’t think she will except. I think she will ask for too much. I think my best solution is to sell the house at the price we had a estimate done. It was 129,000. I want to buy the house before it goes on the market for that price, and use my half of the money for down payment. I have about 60,000 in equity.

I think I understand when they sell the house then they pay off our debts first, and then divide the rest between husband and wife.

I have a college loan in 2006 for 20,000, so that debt will be paid first right? then we will divide the rest.

I want to keep the house, because other houses on the market are not as good as the house I am living in now.

If the college loan was acquired during the marriage then yes, 50% of the loan can be paid from the proceeds of the house. Can and will are 2 different things. She could argue that this is your debt, and she is not responsible for half of it. Arguing and getting are 2 different things.

During my marriage I helped my ex pay off her student loan. My attorney said I would be entitled to half of that amount back in the settlement. That loan was paid off 20 years ago. I still had the loan document.

Decide what you are willing to pay her in a payoff. Make sure it is something you can live with. If she doesn’t accept it then tell her fine, you will sell the house and you will split the mortgage payment 50/50 till it sells. Put the house on the market at the highest appraised value. Put all this in a separation agreement. Be very detailed as to these conditions. In this market it might not sell for years. If it goes to court a judge would not make you put it on the market at less than appraised value (I think).

A downside to this is you have to deal with your Ex or Stbx for longer than you may want to. Years even.

If she has moved out and you are in the house then you will be living there for half of what you are living there for now. If she stops paying the mortgage then you will have to pick up the payments. In that case, eventually her interest will go to zero.

All of the things I said above my girl friend has been going through. Her house has been on the market for 2 years. She is living in a $400K house paying $750 per month to live there. Of course her ex is pi…ed off, but he screwed up and moved out and then signed a sep agreement with these conditions. He thought the house would sell in weeks because he was so smart and knew the real estate market. Of course she has to deal with him on a weekly basis despite being divorced for 2 years.

The proceeds from the sale of the home are used to pay off the mortgage debt, not all the marital debts, unless the parties have an agreement to do so. Student loans are largely being considered separate debt now.

I am confused. If I was the one to have to leave and the stbx stayed in the house, do I have to pay half the house payment? One attorney told me that it would be considered basically alimony.

You are not required under the law to pay one half of the mortgage, however if your name is tied to the loan, and it is not paid timely your credit can be affected.

Separation or no separation, divorce or no divorce you are responsible for half the mortgage (if you are both on the mortgage) regardless if you live in the house or not. So yes, you are required to pay half of the mortgage by contract law not by family law. Actually if your name is the only one on the mortgage by contract law you are required to pay 100% of the mortgage. The mortgage is a contract between you and the bank. They don’t care about all the rest. You break the contract and they take the house. Very simple.

Yes, I understand that by contract I would be responsible for the house payment. I am talking under ED here. I was told by an attorney that the one who stays in the house is the one expected to pay for it. Same for cars, etc. Now when I left, I took on a majority of other marital debt so he could afford the house payment and provide a home for my older daughter. she doesn’t make enough to support herself. 2 months later he moves in with another woman and puts the house on the market, puts me thru hell trying to get me to pay half the mortgage and I adamantly refused. He draws BAH (military) at the married rate which more than adequately covers all expenses of the house. The house now has a contract on it to sell and I now want him to take some of the credit cards over (50-50 split). There was never a signed SA. I am working 2 jobs to my health’s detriment to pay these bills and am facing bankruptcy because of taxes this year (owe almost $9,000) He says he is going to try to lump the house into the marital debt. Again, I thought if you had the property, you paid for it. According to everything, he still lives there as he can’t admit to living with another woman while married. So how does this all work in the ED? Is the mortgage lumped into marital debt and divided that way, or is the mortgage removed and assigned to the one who has the property (incomes are the same)?

Well, I don’t know how it works, but I have been paying all the bills mortgage, electric, water, phone and insurance. My wife will not help me pay anything and she is working full time. In 2004, she filed bankruptcy, and doesn’t care if her credit is bad. So if I tried to make her pay for half of the house, she would just let it be foreclosed.

If I am going through a divorce can I make her pay half the utilities and mortgage?

You need to file an action for ED before the closing takes place to ensure the proceeds are distributed properly, and to deal with the debts you have been paying. Paying for the property you have possession of is not necessarily the result of equitable distribution.
The mortgage will be paid from the sale of the home, and the remaining proceeds should be divided equitably. What is equitable is not necessarily always equal, you may be entitled to even more.