How do you afford

Trust me. If you think this, it probably is going on. My spouse did exactly that. Terrible way to treat another person. If you can, go to the bank and get a loan. Try to get a home equity loan. Family,friends, whatever. Definately get proof of affair. Get a PI if needed. IF he has a business, get a forensic accountant. Maybe a pi can find out information of hidden assests for you too. good luck


I would have to agree. Trust your instincts. But keep in mind that you must be prepared to deal with the reality IF you find the proof you are looking for…
You are entitled to 1/2 any amount in any bank account even if your name is not on it…you are married and until you separate, his income is considered marital asset.
Also, you would probably qualify for alimony and/or post separation support…with this presumption, he would more than likely be paying for your attorney fees.
If you do not understand what the outcome of the consult with the attorney was, consult another. Ask around and see if someone is recommended. Keep this saying in mind…Ask for everything but expect less. This way you should get what you are entitled to. A good attorney should be able to find “hidden” assets but it’s best to attempt to do you own homework to. You may find something that the attorney’s can’t. Start a “divorce folder” and start documenting everything you can think of. Dates, events. Keep a journal or log of anything that you think may be noteworthy. Solicite a friend or family member to follow him and take photos. IF someone is cheating, there are ways to find out…

If you have additional question you should first try following up with the attorney that you met with. They may be able to help you come up with some ideas on how to pay for attorney’s fees.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

When you are in a situation where you THINK your spouse may be having an affair, you THINK they might be hiding assets, you THINK they are not going to treat you fairly without being forced to, and the few people you trust to tell this to are all encouraging you to seek legal advice…how in the heck do you pay for it? I have had one hour and half consultation with an attorney that cost me $250.00 and I as confused as ever. We have been married for 27 years and I am a stay at home mother looking for a job…my funds are limited (don’t know if his are or not)but how do you all afford this legal advice when all the attorney’s want to be paid up front??? I won’t have any money until the settlement…if it comes to that. I am sooo confused and depressed.