How in HADES can this be the law?

Dear sk_wilson:

Greetings. You have now learned why I sometimes tell my clients to move out the moment they leave my office…they are effectively gifting money to their frivolous spouse every day they live together.

So, here is the deal with your situation:

  1. The house is still separate, unless you refinanced during the marriage and placed your Wife’s name on the deed. The equity in the house (mainly decrease in the principal) is marital and will be divided.

  2. Your wife is a spendthrift - ie. a waster of marital funds. You can negotiate for an unequal distribution of assets because of her waste.

  3. You should low ball her on alimony negotiations.

  4. You should also negotiate that both of you contribute to a college fund monthly for each child (maybe out of child support if you are going to pay). Best of luck…and keep a cool head throughout your negotiations.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney at Law
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

How in the heck can this be the law in NC??? If there is no way around this then there is TRULY some serious problems with the Divorce laws in NC. This is the story:

I owned my own house before getting married in 2001. I’ve been married for three years to a woman who is absolutely the most careless, free-spender that was ever placed on this earth. I’m a firefighter and she a paramedic, so our incomes are pretty close to being the same. I do have a small side business that adds and additional $5000.00 to my income.

We agreed to have seperate bank accounts for our seperate incomes.

When it comes to bills I PAY EVERYTHING RELATED TO THE RESIDENCE. I pay the mortgage, utilities, insurance, medical expenses, and buy all of the groceries. I still, after all of the bills have been paid, have manages to save a decent amount of money by denying myself things that I would like to have in order to secure the financial means for our son and his future educational needs and what-not.

My wife, on the other hand, pays child support to an ex-husband, has an outstanding college loan, and car payment. THAT IS IT!! She typically has close to $1000.00 a month left over AFTER all of her bills are paid, yet NONE of this money is ever saved!!! It is all spent on bull****!! She has not saved anything for the future of our son or her daughter. All she does is spend, spend, and spend more, and then complain to me when she runs out that I’m not being a good husband because I don’t “support” her.

This uncontrolled spending doesn’t even cross her mind - almost like it’s not even happening. She’s 39 years old with two children and can’t save a freaking dime of the $34,000 a year she earns!!!

I feel that the marriage is a partnership that should be 50/50. If I can deny myself some of the things that I want in order to have something for our son’s future, then she should too!!

YET, according to the law in NC, regardless of what she spends her monies on she has the right to half of everything I"VE saved as well - even when she hasn’t lifted one finger to earn it. She has had ample opportunity to save monies but has always chosen to spend it on frivilous things that haven’t benefited anyone but her. The money just evaporates!!

According to what I’ve just described I am screwed and SHE’S the one causing the immense problems. I am the one being TOTALLY responsible for the security of our marriage because she doesn’t have the discipline to save any money, yet she knows that, regardless of how she continues to spend, she has the legal right to half of everything I earn. What do I have the legal rights too? It should be half of everything she earns, but if she doesn’t save any of it then what do I have half of?? Nothing??

How can one person in a marriage do all of the saving, and take responsibility for all of the bills and the other, albeit capable, take no responsibility whatsoever financially and spend everything she’s ever earned, and STILL lay claim to half of everything I’ve earned in the marriage?? I’m getting punished for being a responsible father and saving for my son. She’s saving nothing and sitting in the drivers seat!! Why in the hell can’t the law see how this is??? Why can’t she be denied half of what I’ve earned because of her immense irresponsibility???

Is there anything that can help me???