Husband drug addict - can't support myself - ready to sep


#1

It was brought to light earl this spring that my husband of 11 years has been abusing prescription drugs for 3+ years now. I spent the summer hoping he’d continue getting help - only to go through several relapses and him ultimately saying that he would not seek counseling, go to meetings - as he said “that’s just not me”. After all this -I am very certain now that he can not deal with this withOUT help…and I can not stay in a marriage with someone that will not get help. The marriage has suffered for several years due to the drug related symptoms.

Unfortunately I am dependent. I have a small business, but w/ the economy, it is VERY slow. I could not afford to support myself. He has stated he would not move out for 6-12 months if a divorce is what I wanted – until he was financially able to. There is no way his income could support two households. I can not have him in this house for that long though…I have been looking for a job (been out of corporate world since birth of first child) and I’m trying to ramp up my business…but I’m ready to get things rolling.

He has stated that we do not need lawyers…that we can do the separation ourselves and that he’ll be fair as long as I am and I don’t try and take his kids from him. I know that I’m nowhere near ready to trust him to NOT take drugs before or during his visits with the kids - I’d like to enforce supervised visits…I also really want him out of the house.

First, can I do this without getting a lawyer (I’m really trying not to spend a lot of money - and was just quoted $200 for a consultation - I could see if I would have something tangible at the end of the meeting - but I can’t spend that kind of money to just talk right now)? Is there a way I can make him leave? Is there a way to ask/enforce supervised visitations without getting a court involved in the separation?

I think that is it for now - but any and all advice would be GREATLY appreciated.


#2

There is a cause of action in North Carolina called “Divorce from Bed and Board”. It is not a divorce, but rather an avenue to allow the courts to order the parties to separate. It is fault based, and habitual drunkenness (old statutory term) is one of the grounds upon which such an action can be based. If the court finds sufficient fault, it can order that your husband leave the martial residence.

Once he is gone, you will need to file an action for Equitable Distribution, Post-Separation Support, Alimony, Child Custody, Child Support and Attorney’s fees in order to protect your rights. This does not mean that you cannot settle the case prior to court hearings, however if you are struggling financially, filing suit is the best way to ensure you will start receiving support shortly after the separation.

Further, if you are seeking supervised visitation, it will likely take a judge’s order to get it. Most folks refuse to agree to such constrictive terms.

Based on your situation, you sound like a great candidate for our Do it your Self System. The link to the site http://my.rosen.com.