I’m destitute and desperate

I have been married for 25 years. Three years ago my husband decided he didn’t want to be married anymore but couldn’t afford separate residences and I agreed as long as he agreed to pay the bills as I have been a stay-at-home mom and I have medical issues. Everything was fine at first, but after the first year, things started going downhill. Every week he would put money into our joint account so I could pay the bills, but he started putting less and then he started taking the money out after depositing it into the account. After awhile, it became impossible to pay the bills. By this point, he was taking my car and would disappear for days at a time, often leaving me broke, without food, transportation, and in despair, always coming back with apologies and saying it wouldn’t happen again. Then this year, my car got repo’ed, our home is in the process of foreclosure and the only reason we’re still in it is because of the COVID-19 pandemic. I just recently got discharged from the hospital after having emergency surgery and finding out that I had a stroke and I don’t know what to do! Can you please give me some advice!!

You will need to file a court action against your husband for postseparation support, alimony, and equitable distribution. It sounds like he is the supporting spouse and you are the dependent spouse so therefore, he would likely have an alimony obligation towards you. By filing a court action, you can get a court order which would force him to pay you a certain amount.

You can use our Sample Court Complaint to draft your own. Filing fees are $150, unless you also include a claim for absolute divorce, in which case filing fees are $225, and you would need to serve your husband with the filed complaint by certified mail or sheriff’s deputy.

If you are in need of child support for minor children, you can contact your county’s child support enforcement agency to pursue child support. There is no cost for this.

You can also attend one of our free live Webinars which will give you lots of information about the divorce process.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

Just out of curiosity, if I needed representation, how much would it cost? My husband is not going to willingly give me alimony and I’m not sure about child support either as I have a feeling he’s been waiting for our son to finish school so he won’t have to. My sister has offered to give me the money as she’s tired of the situation I’m living in.

Attorney’s fees vary greatly based on the projected amount of work needing to be done, whether it will be handled out of court or in court, and the county that you’re in.

You can check out our Attorney’s Fees Calculator to give you a rough estimate.

Note that if you are in need of child support, you can go to your county’s Child Support Enforcement office for no cost.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.