A separation agreement is just that; an agreement. If you do not agree to what is in the agreement have it amended before signing. Do not sign anything that you do not agree to.
Have your attorney send a counter offer…
You do not HAVE to have an agreement. Technically either of you could move but with an agreement it protects against abandonment issues. If there is a separation agreement in the works then abandonment is not much of an issue since you know that separation is coming.
The one year one day separation can not begin until one of you leave the marital home so…the separation agreement IMHO could be hammered out after the fact.
If you desire to separate from your Wife as well, there is often no benefit to refusing to negotiate. The first proposed Agreement often looks nothing like what the two of you will ultimately agree to. It might be in your best interests to make a counteroffer and get negotiations going. It cannot be pleasant living in the same house while planning to get a divorce.
If you choose not to respond she can move out, she can take the children with her, or she can file a lawsuit for a divorce from bed and board (if grounds exist) and ask the court to kick you out.
If you earn the greater income in the marriage, it is often in your best interests, not to leave until these details have been worked out to your satisfaction.
Doing nothing is going to leave you guys stuck exactly where you are, which may meet your short term goal of not responding to what you consider to be a ridiculous proposal, however it is not going to meet the long term goal of allowing you both to move on with your lives.
Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax
Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044
Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
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[i]Originally posted by dbprogman[/i] [br]My wife's attorney has presented me with an absolutely insane agreement - ie, requesting child support & alimony amounts more than I make in a month. Thusfar, I have advised my attorney to let hers know that I am not responding to anything that rediculous. We still live in the same house with 3 children. If I choose not to respond at all - ie drop my attorney - what legal recourse does she have? Can she move the children out of the marital residence without my approval? If so, what legal recourse do I have? I have been told all along by my attorney do not leave until a separation agreement is signed. Seems like an endless loop :frowning:
The first proposal is almost always ridiculous, on the principle that one can’t get something unless it is asked for, so ask for everything, and whittle it down from there.
If divorce is in the cards, you want to get(and keep) negotiations going, and try and keep things out of court as much as possible. Going to court is expensive.
Talk w/ your attorney about an appropriate counter-offer.
I would like to 2nd what Golfball posted. Going to court is expensive. After each of them spending $10K and going to court one time, my husband and his ex ended up with a court order exactly like their separation agreement.
During a divorce all the secrets and ugly details come to light. Arguements that you thought were long over will come back up. Her friends and family will be on her side and your friends and family will be on your side.
The children will be on neither side and should never be made to choose. They love you both and have the right to have you both in their lives, just as you both have the right to have them in yours. This is not their fault and they will not understand.
If you are going to argue about something, make sure that it’s something you are not worried about the children hearing or knowing about.
Pick your battles. Ask yourself these questions when you are going through the separation agreement: Can I live without this? Can I replace this? and Is this worth going to court over?
Ask for everything and settle for what you can live with.
Keep in mind that the five of you are the ONLY ones who will truly have to live with the outcome of this. Not the judge, the attorneys, friends or even family. Everyone else will, for the most part, go on with their lives as usual.
Good luck and keep us posted!
My wife’s attorney has presented me with an absolutely insane agreement - ie, requesting child support & alimony amounts more than I make in a month. Thusfar, I have advised my attorney to let hers know that I am not responding to anything that rediculous. We still live in the same house with 3 children. If I choose not to respond at all - ie drop my attorney - what legal recourse does she have? Can she move the children out of the marital residence without my approval? If so, what legal recourse do I have? I have been told all along by my attorney do not leave until a separation agreement is signed. Seems like an endless loop 