Insurance, etc

my estranged husband decided to leave me in july of this year. he immediately moved in with an internet girlfriend. at the time, i was only working part time. he pays support later and later each month, so i cannot get my bills caught up. he suddenly demanded to have the girls more, not wanting to pay the proper amount of support. he lives 20 miles from their school and works til 8 everyday, so even if he got more overnights, i would be feeding them. we will be doing mediation in february, but i wanted to go ahead and go through social services to get him pay support a little more regularly. would this be futile without the custody order from the courts?
he also recently took me off his insurance, claiming that a lawyer advised him to. first off, i thought that he was supposed to leave me on, given the situation was his choice. secondly, he doesn’t even pay for my insurance, as he has enough hours with his employer for them to pay 100%. i do not understand his decision to do this, except for the girlfriend is advising him.

No, you do not have to have a custody order to get child support (or for CSE to help you). You just need to have actual physical custody of the child (not necessarily the legal paperwork).

There is a law called the doctrine of necessaries, in which one spouse could be held liable for any necessary costs the other spouse incurs (uninsured medical expenses) for so long as you are married. Further, most plans will not allow you to remove your spouse from coverage unless and until you are divorced, or you can prove she has procured coverage elsewhere. Your spouse should continue to insure you until the divorce is finalized.

Once you are divorced, you can no longer carry the other spouse on your health insurance unless it is through COBRA. I will you all the best.