Is a separation right for me?


My husband signed up for a Facebook back in November and has gotten in touch with several old friends. However, some of these old friends also include old girlfriends. It went from Facebook, to chat, to personal phone calls to emails on his personal email account. I questioned him about it and got nothing but lies. I went into his Facebook and found some inappropriate messages from him and to him. Questioned him again and nothing but lies. There is one girl in particular that he talks to literally on a daily basis. Last week he gave me a BS story about how he was locked out of his Facebook and had to change the password. It’s now changed to something I don’t know. Then this weekend he was different. Distant. We are mutual friends with this one girl. Messages from her to me changed too. So I went into his email as I was able to access it from the web and found a message that indicated more was going on than just friends. They were having a fun, silly and flirty conversation and he wanted to keep going but was afraid I was getting mad as I was sitting on the couch opposite him. Then she got defensive in her reply about was he being bad and not giving me quality time? This has been going on for a while. Yesterday he then fed me a story about having to change the network passwords of our computers and now I can no longer access his email online. I feel he’s completely trying to hide something! I am currently unemployed (I lost my job a little over two months ago) and we have a daughter under 10. We have been married for almost 9 years but have lived with each other since 1985. She is currently going through a divorce but lives about 650 miles away. Do I just let this go? Or do I seriously consider a separation?


He sounds like he is cheating and is unwilling to come clean and stop.

If you don’t want a cheating husband in your life, then yes, I would recommend separating.


Whether you should consider a separation or not only you can say. I know that is not the answer you want to hear.

I can say this though. Your husband is having an emotional affair. Eventually (in my opinion, which isn’t worth much) he will make an excuse to see this person. Do not let it go. Make a decision if you want to fight for marriage or not. Which path it the correct one is up to you. I know it is upsetting. Others will have their own opinions.

My opinion is a marriage is a joining of 2 lives. There are no secrets. There are no private e-mail accounts, there are no facebooks period. What do people that are married need facebook pages for? If you need a social network for your profession there are other websites specifically for certain professions. That is just my opinion and I sure people will disagree with me on the privacy issue.

I know this is tough. My best advice to you is be strong, be resolute.

Best of luck.