My ex-husband and I have joint legal custody and he refuses to allow me to share in the decision of child care providers while our daughter is in his care during the summer months where we have a week on/week off schedule during the summer. Our daughter is 7 years old and I believe he intends to leave her in the home of his, now soon to be ex-wife’s mother, who I am told has drug addicts frequently visiting and possibly living in her home, I also have been told that prescription pills are abused in her home as well. I have let him know that this person and his new girlfriend who was previously homeless and has 4 children and who I’m told has admitted to being a pot smoker and who drinks frequently, are not suitable people to leave our daughter in the care of. He is telling me I don’t have a say and if I don’t like his choices of child care that I can file a motion to modify custody and take him to court. I was wondering if this is a decision that could fall under the umbrella of Joint Legal Custody in the state of NC considering the age of our daughter and the risk that leaving her in the care of people like this. I am also told that his wife’s mother has been investigated by DSS numerous times for claims of neglect.
I would also like to know what recourse I have if he insists on leaving her in the care of these people or refuses to tell me who/where she will be cared for while he’s working during his visitation? Am I expected to just send her there fearing that she will be in this risky kind of environment because I am fearful that she doesn’t receive adequate basic care as it is, much less the fear I will have knowing she could be left in these kinds of risky and potential dangerous environments.
Generally childcare selection is left up to the parent in need of childcare and is not a legal custody decision unless your court order specifically states that childcare shall be mutually agreed upon.
Also, make sure your court order does not have a first right of refusal provision in which your ex-husband would be required to ask you first for childcare if he is in need of childcare for a certain length of time.
If your court order specifically requires that childcare be mutually agreed and your ex-husband is willfully violating this provision, then you could file a contempt motion against him (called a motion and order to appear and show cause).
Your option is to file a motion to modify custody (assuming your custody terms are in a court order and not a separation agreement) with your basis of a substantial change in circumstances being that the father is putting the children in harm’s way by picking inappropriate and dangerous childcare options. However, it could be difficult to prove that the father’s ability to select appropriate and adequate childcare has degraded from the time the current order was entered such that he can no longer select adequate childcare.
Your other option is to make a CPS report any time you believe a minor child is in an abuse or neglect situation.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
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