Hello,
I am having a big dilemma . I am going through divorce as my husband of 30 years abandoned myself and our teenage child and moved right in with another woman and had been cheating with for atleast a year , they had planned this, and she is married also cheating on her spouse. My spouse and his paramour have since bought a new house ,spending money on lots of trips, new cars etc and most recently they got engaged. We are not even divorced yet. My spouse has always been the bread winner and financially supported us 99 percent, until he left and I dont make that much compared to him. He has however continued to pay our mortgage and my car payment since they both have his name on them. I have supported his careers and educations for the past 30 years, including his masters degree which he obtained before he left . I dont have a degree. Im at the point of equitable distribution now and his actions of this misconduct have been the major cause for me to max out my credit cards to pay for things for attorneys fees, the house and for our childs medical needs, last year of high school and getting ready for college and all and now my credit scores are low, probably too low to get the house refinanced in just my name and probably too low for me to get a loan to pay down the cards to get scores back up, and I want to keep the house and our child is going to continue living with me, and he wants his name off of it. We only bought the house 3 years ago.It is in both of our names. We have about $45,000 equity in the house But im not sure what I can do or fight for to make him help me keep the house or help me fix my credit so i can keep the house? Im also worried im going to have to file bankruptcy as the bills are taking my whole paycheck.This has been so stressful and confusing. Any suggestions or advice will be greatly appreciated.
You will want to maximize your alimony as it sounds like you are entitled to alimony based on the income disparity as well as the affair. That will help with your expenses.
It is also possible to negotiate a greater than 50% share of the marital estate. However, despite your wish to remain in the house, it may make better financial sense to sell the house and use the proceeds to buy or rent a more affordable place.
You should also pursue child support arrears or negotiate that your husband pay off some of your credit card debt as it relates to expenses for the minor child that he was not paying.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
What about trying to do a refinance with a cash buyout to pay down my ccs and keep the house? I just need to find a lender willing to help me out. Any suggestions?? It’s not an expensive house , in fact it would cost the same or more to rent a place, especially since I have pets, and if I can get the ccs paid down I can definitely afford the house and be able to survive with the alimony as a supplement to my income.
Yes, it is possible to refinance the mortgage and use some of those funds to pay down or pay off the credit cards. But you will want to make sure that the pay offs of the debt are adequately accounted for in equitable distribution particularly if any of the debt is marital debt or debt for the support of minor children due to your spouse’s failure to pay you any child support while separated.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
Is it possible to fight to get my spouse to help me refinance the house (which will lower the mortgage payments) and with a cash out on the equity on the house to help pay down my cc bills, since he paid off all his and now his scores are really good and high enough to get approved, so that I can get my credit cards paid and get my scores up so I can get the house in just my name , since he wants the house out of his name? As alot of my cc debts are due to his actions. Could the courts grant something like this to make him help me if he wont agree to it?
The court won’t require him to cosign for a refinance but the court could require him to pay off some of your debt if you can prove that it was marital debt or debt accrued for a minor child in your care that he was not paying child support for.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
Hello and sorry to chime in but our stories are a lot alike and I am sorry to hear yours.
My ex and I have been separated since October and three months after he moved out he and his girlfriend and my ex mother in law bought a 600,000 house. He was not on the first page of the deed, but certainly signed the last page. Do I have any rights to this house ?
If so, how would that work. ?? Thanks !
Oh… and Lucille
I am also trying to refinance and my credit scores are not great… I had to find a co-signer… my parents are trying to help with this, but try and find some else (beside ex)
And make sure you get alimony and child support !
If your husband bought the home after the date of separation, then the house is his separate property and you do not have any rights to it. If your husband used marital funds (fund earned between the date of marriage and date of separation) to purchase the home, then you may be entitled to one-half of the value of those funds.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.