Signing a separation paper does not mean that your pouse should see other people around your kids. Having the children meet a new person that your spouse has a new connection to can be tramatizing to them. It seems that there are no concerns from the cheating spouse in your life and mine that they have seeded a memory that will probably sprout when they get older of their mother leaving because she wanted to be with someone else instead of the person they call their dad. lust and obsession puts their children to the side and makes them forget what is more important. It’s heartbreaking to know that the children’s minds are being mentally abused by knowing this new person. I believe that the spouse that is having an affair should not present the children to the person, unless the children understand that the mother and father are not living together anymore and its a the divorce is final.
I still believe that the parents should have joint custody where the mother and father are both involved with the their children’s lives. But if one spouse think’s that it’s ok to allow them to see the new person, I think they should be away from you STBX until he or she comes to their senses and knows what they are doing is harming their children.
My wife and I recently separated with the understanding that it was so we could re-evaluate the marriage, and where we stood. About two weeks after we signed the papers, she started seeing someone. This was not the original agreement, but there is nothing I can do because of the separation agreement. However, I recently confronted her about commiting adultery with the guy, and she told me that I would have to prove it. She did NOT deny it, just told me I would have to prove it. I am by no means financially capable of taking her to court and fighting for my children, nor do I have the means to hire someone to “catch” her in the act. I do not want her back, but want more “freedom” to take my children somewhere where they could be more loved and not see this going on with their mother. However, I have been threated by her father that if I did so, he would “hunt me down”. I am scared, lost, and unable to get any help as I am not native to the area we live. Please, I need help, and don’t know where to turn. Anything will be appreciated, and thank you.