Legal Question - STBX not allowing visitation


My understanding is that if no agreement has been signed and there is no custody order, then both parents have equal access to the children. Not allowing visitation , IMO, is a control issue/leverage tool.

Once again…using kids as a pawn. [V] What good reason would one parent have for NOT allowing a parent to see their children (aside from abuse, drug or alchohol addiction…) other than selfishness or ignorance of the law? I don’t understand his lawyers unresponsiveness. I guess there could be several legit reasons for that.


His lawyer is one of the best in the county he lives in and is usually always in court/with a client. I have had plenty of experience with litigators and corporte attorneys, and I know they were always busy as well. So I can understand at least a little part of that. I also think there is a disconnect because of her secretary, but that is another issue.

The STBX is trying to get more money out of him. He currently pays ALL HER BILLS and gives her food and gas money. This amount totals about 4500-5000 a moth.


There are some who never have a separation agreement signed. The custody is equal until it is decided by agreement or court order and neither can legally keep the child away from the other. If she is doing that, he should take action. Keep records of all attempts and refusals. Contact the attorney again. If necessary, go to the office and sit until she comes out…let them know that since he’s gotten no response he’s not getting to see his child. The attorney should be able to write a letter to the stbx stating that this action of prohibiting visitation is not legal. If he is paying everything for her as it is, then he should not feel the victim in all this. She’s dependant on him and he needs to make sure he keeps good records of all this.


Unless there is a court order or other agreement in place either party can take the child and keep him or her away from the other party. This behavior will likely backfire on that party once they go to court.

If his attorney is not responding to him and answering his questions then it doesn’t matter how good that attorney is, they are not getting the job done that the client needs. He should try to address this issue with his attorney, if it is not resolved, they should seek a second opinion.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

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Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

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Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


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Can the STBX not allow visitation until a separation/custody agreement is signed? Court date is not until August 5 and she has repeatedly told both her soon to beex husband and their child that they cannot see each other until after they go to court.

In my reading of NC law, it is my understanding that she has NO RIGHT to prohibit his visitation. Especially as he is not the party with the drug addictions/mental history (she has been committed in 28 day addiction programs in the past, was an alcoholic who fell off the wagon during the marriage, and is on 4 prescripion drugs with mind-altering effect). Does he have any recourse? FYI, he has an attorney, but she has been VERY unresponsive.