Mediation agreement modification?


#1

Please help me i am desperate. I have never felt so betrayed and stupid in my life. I am having a mental breakdown over the mediation agreement. I need to know how long do I have to file to have something done about my agreement? I heard 30 days then I heard 90 days. Which is it? Please, my time is running into the 90 day period. Please let me know. Thank you so much for having this forum.


#2

If you have a signed agreement that was reached in mediation, there is no time period to have the agreement overturned. Are you perhaps referring to a judge’s order?


#3

I have a signed mediated settlement agreement that was signed in a mediator’s office on Dec 29th. The next morning my attorney took it to a judge at the court house and had him sign it. I was not present. Nor was I ask to be present. I had taken a valium during my mediation for several reasons. 1- I was having symptoms that told me my blood presure was high 2- I have ADHD and chronic anxiety and I truly thought (not being use to medications) that it would help me calm down, focus and concentrate better. What it did was cause me to become complacent. I was married 29 years, raised 3 biological children and 2 step. My husband wouldn’t allow me to work meanwhile he went from $13,000 to $200,000 a year income. My agreement states “man shall pay to woman as alimony the sum of $600.00 per month as alimony to woman beginning January 30, 2009 and continuing on or before the last day of each succeeding calendar month until the death of man or woman, the remarriage of woman, cohabitation by woman with someone not related by marriage or passage of 24 months, whichever shall occur first. This alimony shall be deductible to man and includable to woman as income for tax purposes.” And no I get not get the most part of the property and if i did not have disabilities and/or hadn’t taken the medication I would never have agreed to this . I did ask one attorney but he said I could spend thousands and not get enough to matter because of the way they worded it, giving no background info ie…until I got education ect… I have a real problem trusting attorneys who know each other so would you please please give me your opinion. And thank you again so much for this forum and your quick response. Debi


#4

The document you signed was a mediation settlement agreement which was entered as an Order of the Court when it was presented to the Judge. Your signature on the document, and your attorney’s presentation to the judge allowed for entry without your presence.
The fact that you had taken a valium during the mediation will not be cause to have the agreement overturned. From the facts you stated that you were complacent, not incompetent, and the courts will not overturn an agreement based on those grounds.
I agree with the attorney you spoke with. You could challenge the agreement, however my guess is that you would incur substantial legal fees without much of a chance of a change.


#5

I completely forgot to tell you my mental state and what led up to it.
Starting In 2006
My stepfather found out through a family member that I knew (and had known since age 12) he wasn’t my biological father so he disowned me (Like I could help it.)
A coach, not my son’s coach, grabbed my youngest son by the throat causing severe bruising. We went to court over it. His father never came once. During this same time my mother unexpectedly passed away. Back in court, the detective working my son’s case left the courtroom taking the file with pictures and all evidence with her. Assuring me she would be back as soon as the case was called. She never returned and no one called for her. So, the judge said without any evidence he had to find him not guilty. However, at least he no longer works with the children at that school. My son wasn’t the first he was just the most severe.
Right after that I found out that my religious (when he was home apparently) husband was involved with a married woman from New York. Even though we were separated this was extremely traumatizing for me. It made me realize he had never changed from the way he was with his first wife. He had only gotten smarter about how to go about getting by with it. And confirmed to me just how stupid I had been all those years.
Six months later, January 2008, my very best friend from childhood thru adulthood very unexpectedly passed away. A few days before she passed away, Dec.26th I was going to the hospital to see her when a young man ran a red-light and t-boned my car, it was severe enough to do $14,000.00 worth of damage to my car and put me through many months of pain, physical therapy and chiropractic services. I have, since childhood had PTSD over dying in a car wreck because I lost an aunt due to a car wreck.
A few months later a lady pulled across the road as my son and his friends were rounding a curve on their way back from church, she froze while blocking his entire lane so his car was totaled. Breaking his nose and his friends sternum.
A few months after that my then 16 year old son, who had never been in trouble before the justice system let him down, got a speeding ticket, (thank God he got caught), for driving 102mph. I had a GPS installed in his car so I could check his speed and location at any time.
A few months later,same son, stole 2 packs of candy from a store, breaking my heart and being arrested. He was very respectful to the police who were arresting him so they were very kind to him. The man and his wife who owned the store was a friend of our‘, (my son and I) so Thank God he went to court, explained how out of character it was for my son and they dropped the charges. He was living this nightmare with me and it was a terrible situation. I know he just wanted someone to notice the pain we were both in.
February 8th 2008, I had just left the chiropractor when I got a phone call that my house was on fire! We lost everything we had! It was a living nightmare and I was left to try and salvage anything that might be salvageable from our home and my friend Ann and I had to go through everything and fill out 232 detailed pages of insurance claim forms.We had no home. It took months. My husband helped with nothing. Not one thing. But, one week later he had his divorce granted at 9am and called my children at 3pm announcing that “they had a new step-mother!.” They had not even met the woman at that point. After 29 years he married her 6 hours after our divorce. Then they went on a honeymoon while I was left to pick up the pieces of our destroyed home and try to place our 5 dogs and 1 cat with friends.
August 2008, my youngest son left to go to college with his brother who had left in 2007 then this one the following year. I had been a full time mother since I was 18
years old, starting with my two step-children. Now I had empty nest syndrome. I still do. I went from always having kids and their friends over for 29 years to being all alone. Some people might enjoy that but for me it was and is devastating.
I stayed at the boys apartment with their roommates a few weeks, long enough to figure out that one of the room mates had symptoms of a psychopath. I begged and pleaded with their father to move them but his wife’s answer to that problem was to call the complex and tell them to put me out that I had been there longer than it states they could have over night company. So they did.
Oct 2008 my oldest son’s car window was smashed and all credit cards, student loan card stolen and used.
In November my youngest son started getting text messages from someone pretending to be Lucifer. Very unnerving and scary. Saying things like “I’m waiting….” and “Are you still ready _____?” This is my baby, the one the other’s claim is my favorite. It was relentless terror. The cell phone was in his father’s name, yet again he did nothing. They stopped when I made the statement “I’ll find out who this is if it’s the last thing I do.” But then came the phone calls. When my son would answer his phone someone would be screaming, as in agony, into the phone and then hang up.
The day before mediation the boys apartment got broken into. Only their rooms and they took t-v, I pod, I home, speaker system etc… So my youngest lost his possessions twice in less than a year.
The next day I went to mediation. Do you think I was competent? I told My attorney several times that I needed counseling and I gave him the doc report referring me to counseling. I still need counseling but I can’t afford it. A few months before mediation I went to my physician and she gave me a depression test. I didn’t know that’s what she was doing until she finished and told me that I was only a point or so away from being in the last category. I assumed that would be the suicidal level. I needed a judge to make decisions for me because I know without a doubt I was not in a competent mental state with or without the valium.
I don’t know that it would make a difference, I don’t know that anyone really cares but I wanted you to know the entire story so you could make an informed decision for me.
My life was for the 3 years before mediation a nightmare and it took its toll on me mentally. I was so beat down. I still can’t get up. I go to sleep thinking of this, I wake up during the night thinking about it and it’s my first thought in the mornings. No one protected me. I still need counseling but I can’t afford it.
And since mediation I have had one strange thing after another happen via my ex and his new wife, although I can’t prove it I know it’s them. I have never had things like this going on before he met her. But, I ignore it because I know that they would win no matter what they do to me.
Besides it’s menial compared to what I have already been through. So my question is “Do you think a Judge would consider my mental state as being ok?” competent?
Thank you if you read this. I know its a lot of information.


#6

Wow, I can’t believe how much you have been through, and all in two years. I am so sorry to hear about each terrible event you have endured.
While you have certainly been through a lot, and are suffering from depression that does not change my opinion that you would be found to have the mental capacity to enter into an agreement.