My marriage of 28 years ended last Feb. when my husband told me he no longer wanted to be married. He refused counseling saying he "no longer wanted the responsibility of marriage and a relationship…told me he “didn’t want a mate but just wanted to date”. I was a stay at home mother at the time and due to the economy still have not found a job. I was also diagnosed with a neurological brain disorder a few months before that, something he was aware of before his announcement and his departure. He left last Sept. 10th, closed our joint bank accts. and is keeping his $4,000 a month pension and his salary of $6,400 a month to himself. Our daughter is a freshman in college and he gives her $50 a week to live off. Thank goodness she was able to get student loans that are deferred or she would be home working full-time instead of in college.
My husband warned me before he left that if I hired an attorney it would “get ugly” and believe me it has. The combination of his ‘starving me out’ since last Sept. and my health issues and the fact that mediation keeps being delayed by him and his attorney, have put me in the E.R. twice. The stress of being abandoned both mentally, emotionally, and financially is sometimes just too much to bear. My credit was also ruined when he ceased supporting me while his has remained intact. We own a home, a beach condo, and a business but it is his desire that he keep it all. I am living in the house we shared together and he is making the payments on it while it is on the market…that he says is all he is willing to do and I “should be very happy about that”.
My father who is 79 and retired is doing his best to support me while I continue to wait for mediation which I was told is mandatory in N.C. We will have been separated a year on Sept. 10th and I have waiting on mediation since last Nov. I would like to know IF there is light at the end of the tunnel? WILL mediation happen before Sept. 10th and does he have to split his income with me or does he have the right to do what he is doing? My atty. and I put together a very reasonable proposal a month ago where I asked for his total pension for 15 yrs. and left him the business and did not ask for alimony…so far no word on whether he accepted it. I asked that we keep the house on the mkt and divide the proceeds once it sells and I asked for the beach property of which I would make the pmts. I was thinking if it appreciates I can sell it in the future and use the money to add to whatever my soc. sec. is after the 15 years of receiving his pension ends.
If anyone can offer me hope it would be greatly appreciated. All my atty. says is that we will get to mediation when my husband’s atty. has the time and when the judge who is going to mediate has the time. In the meantime I have days where I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. Thank you.