Modifcation to a current order that is incontempt

I currently have a current order with my x husband. It’s a long story. I signed 2yrs ago pretty much giving him what he wanted. We lived in GA and I wanted to move back to NC (where I was from and where we met). We were already divorced at this time and our child was also born and conceived when we were divorced. Well I signed the agreement giving him joint custody 2 wks with me 2 wks with him. Also states no exchange of child support. It states that he is to carry health insurance on her which he does not do. It states that we are not to have any over nights visits with the opposite sex (unless married) while the child is in our company. He lives with his girlfriend. I have her 80% of the time. He get s her about 3 or 4 days a month. It is vary spardic. I pay child care for her every week. He has never put her in child care. I don’t get any money for her. He also got to claim her on his taxes this year. Anyway I now am trying to modify the order. I have spoken with two different attorneys,both have a different outlook on this so now I am more confused then ever. One tells me that if I take him to court for incontempt all they are going to do is try to make him be incontempt of the current order not modify it. I want it modifyed. She just turned 3 and when she reaches school age its going to have to be modifyed. This lawyer told me also to that they will not modify for school age right now. That I can only do that when she is 5. I want it modify for now and go ahead and get it modifyed for school age also. He told me I should not be entitled to child support even thou my x has not followed the papers and I have had her 80% for the past two years.
On the other hand the second lawyer I saw told me every thing completely opposite that I can get him for contempt and they will try to also get him for modification at the same time. She also told me that they can go ahead and change it for school age also.

Anyway I need Help I am more confused then ever. All I know is my x is jerking me around and getting away with it because of a order I signed two yrs ago based on blackmail.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

I agree with the second lawyer. My thoughts are that you should file a contempt motion and a motion to modify custody as well. Not only does the live in girlfriend violate the order, it also could be seen a substantial change in circumstances affecting your daughter.