Modification of custody


#1

My ex and I have a custody agreement that we came to after months of back and forth of lawyers. At the time I agreed to many things that I thought were excessive out of a desire to keep it out of court even though he has made numerous false allegations and has been highly aggressive throughout the process. I have so far been taking the turn the other cheek approach in the hopes that having a signed agreement would lessen the constant accusations and bullying. Fast forward several months and things have just continued. About once a week I get something from his lawyer with a new concern or complaint, threats of litigation, insults, and there is just no effort to cooperate with me on pretty much any level. I have complied with everything he asked in the order no matter how ridiculous. For instance, he accused me and my partner of drug use so we submitted to follicle testing for both of us. We have at this point provided him with two follicle tests, three months apart and all are clean of course. He has no evidence to suggest that we take drugs, none. Yet every time we submit a test he tries to claim that we faked them. He wants us to take two more which will amount to a full year of follicle testing (at our expense no less) based on nothing but his accusations. I feel that this is entirely abusive and excessive and that no judge in his right mind would order that. This is just an example of the crazy things he asked for. The custody order is supposed to be for a year at which time it becomes permanent. So my question is what can I do to modify it? I feel that the constant threats, baseless accusations, and general aggressive behavior (which is the reason I left the marriage to begin with), are making a poor environment for the children. I also feel like I got completely railroaded in this custody order just because I was trying to be nice and avoid conflict.


#2

It sounds like you have a temporary child custody order. If that is the case, you should follow the order. As long as you are not in contempt of the order, you do not need to submit to their other requests or demands. If it is a temporary order and you are not satisfied with the contents, you should calendar the permanent custody hearing. Until it becomes a permanent order, you would then have to argue that there had been a substantial change in circumstances to request a modification.