Greetings. I am so sorry for your tradegy and I hope that you are seeking the help and guidance of a counselor to deal with the tremendous amount of pain you must feel. The answer to your question is that you can file for divorce in NC through an attorney, serve him, and wait for the time prior to the hearing. The bad thing is that he can counterclaim (sue you) for child custody and/or visitation. There is no way to divorce him without contacting him.
I wanted to also address the issue of you not letting him visit with the child. If he is harassing you, there are criminal charges which you can, and should, discuss with the police. If he is abusing the child during visits, you should report him to social services. Otherwise, you may be “alienating” him from the child and this may be a ground for him to go to court and gain substantial amounts of time for custody or visitation with the child. Best of luck!
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney at Law
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 200
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.