Need help


Do NOT do as he asks by telling a lie to the court about your separation date. He is just going to have to wait the year out. Whether you persue the other woman is your choice. It will be expensive, and you’ll have to have solid proof of adultry. Either way…do not lie about the separation date.

I would negotiate a separation agreement (if you don’t already have one), file for whatever support you may qualify for (child support, PSS / alimony) and file for ED. I would do this immediately. Don’t let him intimidate you or threaten “I won’t do this if you don’t do that”. He can’t divorce you without your knowledge. And if he tries…by using a false date…you go to court and negate the date. There is a REASON he wants an ‘immediate divorce’…insistancy usually always has a reason. Find out the reason…


In NC you cannot file for divorce until you have been separated for one year and one day, without regard to the circumstances of the separation. Lying in court as to the date of separation is perjury, and the consequences are serious.
You must have a property settlement, or file a claim for equitable distribution prior to obtaining a divorce, or you will lose your rights to have your property divided by the courts.
If your spouse had sex with this woman in NC you do have a claim for criminal conversation, and if you can prove you had a loving marriage prior to his involvement with her you will also have a claim for alienation of affection against his paramour.

Erin E. Clarey
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

Raleigh Office
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 943.0044

Sutton Station
5826 Fayetteville Rd. Suite 205
Durham, NC 27713
Phone: (919) 321-0780


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


Here is my sutuation:

Me and my husband separated in October 2008, because of him cheating. I found this out thru text messages and phone calls. When he left he insisted that we get a divorce immediately, stating that we can lie and tell the court it has already been a year of separation.(We have been married for thirteen years and have 1 child together)This week I found out the woman he had been cheating with is pregnant and due to give birth in a couple of weeks. He is denying that he is the father of the baby, but is insisting on a divorce immediately. This is what I need info on, will I have a case for AOA/criminal conversation,(can the other woman be subpoenaed) and what should be my steps for divorce proceeding against my husband.