Alienation of Affection? Or Criminal Converstation

Keep in mind, whatever you decide that lying about the length of separation is called perjury (lying to the court) and is a crime. NC law is one year and one day living separate and apart. The A of A, is going to go after the other woman only for alienating your husband, it has nothing to do with sex. The criminal conversation is going after your STBX. Adultery is illegal in NC so that’s where the “criminal” comes in. With this you have to show is proof of marriage at the time and that the act of adultery occured, which if she’s pregnant and it’s his child, shouldn’t be too difficult to do.
I wouldn’t agree to anything that is illegal, after all you have a daughter to think about. Your STBX will have to wait on his new life to start though the child will be born before your divorce is final.

Get an attorney, file for separation based on the date he moved out, including equitable distribution of any marital assets and debts, primary legal and physical custody of your daughter, and child support, and then in about 10 months or so, file for absolute divorce. Good luck

Also, if you lie about the date of separation, you may not be able to prove either alienation of affection or criminal conversation. Keep in mind that even with primary custody, your STBX will have visitation rights. You can have custody, child support, and ED put into the separation agreement. If your STBX will not agree and sign it then it will need to go to court. I would still have an attorney draw up the agreement so that there is nothing left out.
My husband had an agreement drawn up and his ex signed it and had they not had to go to court several times over her wanting to change that agreement, it would have only cost him around $300. His attorney was considered “high profile” and costly, but drawing up the original agreement and filing wasn’t that much. I believe that some of the others have posted that there is a kit from the office supply places and possibly some sample forms on this web site you could use. But again, I would get an attorney to draft the agreement.

Thanks! and i wouldnt dare think about lieing for them…why should i make it easy on them? They didnt make it easy on me. I almost lost my job when he left … he doesnt watch our daughter even when he has days off…his mother does… and now His new girl friend is pregnant i see him leaving her to… its funny cause he left me to live his life for god but moved in with her and go her pregnant and wants me to lie. I can’t believe him. After all the trouble his alreay in with the court and the law i couldnt see him lieing to them… they should know better… cause in jan of 06 he and his friends got caught breaking into a business and it ended up in 7 felonies and other misc stuff and innocent people such as myself was almost brought into it … i stayed beside him during most of that up untill heleft. i already got him paying child support ordered by the judge in the past june… so that should tell him that we coulnt do it untill close to that date oor why would i wait on 7 months to get him for child support? right? Is there a way for them to prove we were toghter then?

thanks alot !


I’m not sure I understand the last question. He left in June and is paying you child support? If he’s already paying then have that amount incorporated into the Separation agreement. If he left in June 2006, the you can file for absolute divorce in June 2007. About 30-45 days after filing, it will be final even if he does not sign the divorce papers since the one year, one day separation is past.
You can prove that you were together at that time by the fact that you haven’t gotten a divorce yet. If you give a different date for separation, then say, they started seeing each other 3 months ago but he wants to lie and say that you have been separated 5 months, then the alienation of affection case goes right out the window. Read the section on alienation of affection on the home page of this web site.
Although it’s unrealistic, having sex with someone who is not your spouse, regardless of separation, is still considered adultery. If you do not have an absolute divorce, and he is having sex with her then it is adultery. This is the criminal conversation.

I can appreciate the situation you are in. Keep in mind that you can’t take someone away who doesn’t want to leave. And if someone will lie for you, they will lie to you. I would say that you are probably right when you say that he will leave her also and won’t you enjoy that when it happens? [}:)] The most important thing now for you is to protect yourself and your child finacially and emotionally. Do what you need to do now to ensure that there is less in question in the future. Anything that your STBX took care of make sure you have a way to handle it. If he wants little to do with your daughter right now, then honestly that will only make things easier on you emotionally. It’s not right and your daughter may have a lot of issues with it down the road, but it really will be less confusing for her and less emotionally stressful for you.

Do not lie about the date of separation. Do go ahead and meet with an attorney and get develop a plan for how to proceed.

On the alienation of affection issue - the biggest obstacle most of the time is that the prospective defendant does not have significant assets. When that is the case it is not worth spending hte attorney fees to pursue the claim.

Unfortunately, you may find that the legal plan at work isn’t much help.

Good luck.

Lee S. Rosen
Board Certified Family Law Specialist
The Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

About 5 months ago my husband got his old job back in a fast food store. To my surprise there was a new Manager there but she had been with the store for awhile but at another location. Well they ended up having a affair once and he came home and told me and how he wanted to change his life. Well not even a week later he claimed that he wanted to go to church with her so he can start getting his life together … and then it wouldnt stop he always wanted to see her and do things with her. Well he ended up walking out on me and our2 yr old daughter and moving in with her… I was already told to do the Alienation of Affection but this past thursday they came to me and asked me if i would lie about how long him and I have been seperated so that they can get married…cause she is now 3 months pregnant. Im not sure what to do… What i can do and how much it will cost to do it. I have a legal plan thru my work that may help cover some cost im just not sure what i can do .