Need some guidance


#1

I don’t really know where to begin. I’ve been reading off of this page for some time and figured it may help. My wife and I originally lived in NJ until she left with our two kids to go to SC in September of 2003 siting she needed space to figure out what is important to her. I panicked because I was scared and decided to sell the house with her approval and move so I can be closer to the kids and in hopes that we would work things out. We went to counseling together for 6 weeks before she pulled the plug on everything in late October with no explanation except that she fell out of love. I know this has a lot to do with a guy she worked with up north although I can’t prove much. This has been an extremely difficult time for me. We try to be cordial with one another, but we have alterior motives. She is seeing dollar signs in her head and I just want to see my kids as much as possible. Since the start of the year I have had my kids 71 days. I know I am on pace to qualify for joint custody which I fully intended on having after my attorney told me that sole custody is out of the question. She is now pulling back on the idea of me seeing them that much saying it is not in the best interest of our children. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my life and it is further magnified by my remaining feelings for my wife, my 2 kids both under the age of 5, and the fact that I moved away from family and friends to be here. The questions I have are: 1) I had a mutual fund prior to marriage. Most of the money was spent on repairs and upgrades to our homes. I have spoken to my attorney and she said that this money would be brought back on my side of the ledger. Does anyone know if this is accurate because I know her lawyer has told her something completely different? Money is not a top priority for me, but I have to say I would prefer to pay as little as possible mainly because of the hurt she has put on me. 2) When I first came down I was working in retail. I worked my schedule so that I had the kids 3 consecutive weekdays. Knowing that my daughter starts school next year I figured it would be in my best interest to get a Monday thru Fiday job. I have been trying to get hold of my attorney regarding this, but have had little success. What kind of custody arrangement could be made to ensure the continuity of my relationship with the kids? I’ve heard about a 5 and 9 rule. Is this 5 overnights with me?

Any help would be greatly appreciated. I am really nervous about the upcoming months and need to get a clearer picture on what to expect.

Thanks,
Ed