Scared and need advice


#1

Hi everyone, Im new here and could really use some advice. I will do my best not to write a novel here.

Ive been married for nearly 9 years. We have 1 child together and I have 1 child from a previous relationship. We have separated before (although not legally) for six months and then got back together. Its been a few years since we got back together and our marriage has been horrible the whole time. We both seem to have our reasons for staying even though we are both extremely unhappy, but lately he has really been pushing the issue of divorce. My issue is this…Ive always been a stay at home mom. I dont have a college degree and basically im scared to death to try and take care of my kids on my own. He pretty much has control of everything. He has money that he keeps hidden from me in bank accounts that I dont have access to. I have a feeling he is going to make this has hard as he can on me. I know he will have to pay child support for our daughter, but he has even threatened to quit his job or get a less paying job so he wont have to pay me as much.(He makes alot of money right now). He has so much hate and resentment towards me that Im afraid there is no way hes going to just let this go peacefully. I cant stop him from filing for a divorce, but can someone give me some advice on how to go about this without me ending up with nowhere to live or ending up losing my daughter because I cant support her. We also just purchased a house back in April (we live in NC) so, what will happen with that issue? I dont want the house, since of course I wont be able to pay the mortgage on it, but also dont want to end up screwing myself over. Since Im new to all of this I just dont know what to do, what my rights are and where I should begin. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thank you.


#2

Sorry you are going through all this. I would suggest you repost portions of this on the section that the attorneys respond to, since it certainly sounds like you need specific legal advice. They are really good about responding to your questions, and helped clarify quite a bit for me. This section they don’t respond to, and is mainly for emotional issues.


#3

I hate it that you are going through this and can feel your pain. I am in a similar situation and don’t feel like I have much advice except what I have learned myself. My ex also kept control of the finances and has money in accounts I don’t have access to. He also put our vehicles, home, and property in his family members’ names-for ‘tax purposes’ but now I know it was so that I would not have access to them in the case of divorce. I let with nothing more than a vehicle full of clothes, my kids, and my dignity and let me tell you- it is worth it!

First, seek the advice of an attorney! They will tell you what your rights are and what you should do step-by-step. Post it here on the attorney-answered section.

Second, know that you will be ok, no matter what! I have been living with family for the past 8 months because of the situation my ex put me in but I have faith that it won’t be long before I am where I truly want to be- happy!

If he quits his job or takes one that pays less just to pay less support, then when he gets a better job, you can apply to have it increased. He will get over his resentment once he finds another ‘victim’.

You don’t have to move out of your house and you won’t lose your daughter because of money! Again, talk to an attorney to find out your rights. You will feel much better about things then.

Best of luck to you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your children.

where I should begin. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thank you.


#4

Hi, for sure you still have a family that you can run to, in case he file a divorce at least you have a family who will catch you.and from there start a new life. you don’t have to carry a college diploma for you to succeed right? just be patient. about your daughter in case you loose in custody w/ her make sure that you instill in her mind that you are still her loving mother and one day you will be together again.be strong and always ask god’s blessing…