He controls the money! Help!


#1

I have been married for 23 years, and it has been a very tumultuous relationship. He is a disabled veteran, and is paid through the government. I have worked, but I’ve been out of work for over 2 years now. My husband controls all of the money, he will barely give me money for anything, and threatens to stop paying bills whenever he is angry. Our issues are very intense, and there is no way that I could begin to explain them here, but we have spoken about getting separated, in one moment he acts as though he is agreeable to being descent enough for us to sell the house, and plan to go our separate ways, then he has moments of saying that he is not going to pay the mortgage or anything else.
Back around mid March, he told my sons that one of us had to leave and that if I didn’t leave he was going to stop paying everything and leave me in here in the dark with no utilities and I could stay until they foreclose on the house and put me out. He also advised them that he had not paid my car note, and there was no insurance on it. Days later he text and asked me if we could set aside our differences so that we could sell the house and go our separate ways, I agreed. A few days later he said that he could not live without me, and that he wants to do whatever it takes to make our marriage work (except for counseling), again I agreed. Things were still shaky, but he was showing an effort. Then a few days ago, he began to ask me questions about being on my phone, he wanted to know if I was texting someone, or if I was on Facebook anytime I had my phone. Now he thinks I must be talking to someone else because I am always on my phone (which I am really not). So he wants to sell the house again and go our separate ways. I am usually here at the house all of the time, but if I do go somewhere, he says I am with someone else.
I have no money, and no access to money at this point. I am currently seeking employment however, that may not happen soon enough. What exactly should I do to protect myself and my 17 yr old son until I can manage on my own. He has offered to take out a loan to get the equity out of the house and give me half and he keep the house however, I do not think that would be fair, so I refused. So he is now saying that he is going to start moving his stuff out next week, and he hopes I can get the house sold before it gets foreclosed on.
I have no idea what to think, or how to proceed. Please Help!


#2

If you are ready to separate, then the best course of action is to schedule a consultation with a divorce attorney in your area. That person can help you decide your next steps after hearing all of the facts and circumstances in your case. I can offer a few tips you may find helpful, as well.

If you plan to leave the house, I suggest you read our eBook “Before You Go”. The book gives some insight into what you will want to consider before you actually leave the marital residence. If you have no money, you will need to be prepared to file for post separation support and alimony fairly quickly.

You can get access to a library of legal forms and communicate with an attorney through our Rosen Online Service. This service only costs $199/month, and would be a great resource for you to use if you want to represent yourself.