one more thing…how do I go about getting a decent attorney when I have NO money.He never LET me go to school and when I got a job(just to get out of the house and meet people) He told me he couldnt ‘handle’ the kids, I was ruining our marriage, and if i didnt quit he was hiring help, I gave my 2 weeks that day. When we got married We decided since I was so young that I would stay with the kids, and worry about education once they were in school. I have ALWAYS been a great wife(laundry, children, cooking, cleaning)and he will admit that I am a wonderful wife,and wonderful mother.Why did he leave then??? I dont know he says he has to find himself.Personally i am sure he has found someone else…who could do this to their family otherwise? he travels almost everyweek to france spain, puertorico, and ALL over the US. He is a traveling sales man and very manipulative and controlling. Oh and what about the house? after we bought it it was appraised for more than $115,000 more than we bought it for. My husband immediately tied that up with a creditline to pay off his vehicles, boat, and buisness creditcard now there is less than 20,000, he was married before me, and is older, therefore he is more wise to these things, so he probably tied that all up on purpose. He also owns a house in Downtown charlotte we lived in before we were married, and while I was pregnant. He holds th insurance on both of my children and myself…when will this end?He has already (since I have been by my mother) Hired an attorney and says his attorney has advised him to change the passwords on the bank account, and also avised him not to bring my son up to my familys house (by his mommy and little sister) which we agreed to do before I left state. NOTHING has been signed by me. I am just so sad someone could be so mean, after all the effort I have put forth to make this marriage work. Being all alone with my kids the majority of the time with NO help while he travels.
Dear momof2lo:
Greetings. This may be the post that I was left a message about on my voicemail…so, here are your answers and thoughts from me:
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First, you have stated that you are “visiting” your mother, but in the other portion of your post you mention that he told you he wanted to separate and then bought you a ticket to your mothers. Since you have left, if he tells you that you cannot return to the house, it may pass as domestic criminal trespass. Immediately call him and record yourself telling him that you are coming home. Also, send him an e-mail reminding him that you are only visiting your sick mother and will be returning home on a stated date.
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You may have a tough time requesting/getting alimony with a marriage of less than two years, but sure, I would ask for it.
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I don’t know about the house. When was it purchased and who’s name is it in?
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As far as your child from the marriage, immediately go home (if your mom can be left alone) and take over the care for your child again.
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You may have to seek a credit card to pay for your attorney fees. There are no free attorneys handling divorces (at least not that I have ever heard of). But, you must make the financial investment to get your fair share of the marital property, child support, and to ensure your time with your child.
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Finally, it is not likely that your husband will win sole custody - especially since his job involves so much traveling. Nevertheless, it does raise a question on why you would leave the child behind since you provided all the care, but you can fix that by returning home.
I am sorry you find yourself in a bad position. We will be glad to assist you and help to bring an end to the terribly negative position your husband has started from. This can be worked out and you do have hope…but you clearly need an attorney. Best of luck.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorce.com
919-787-6668
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
- I am visiting, The ticket is round trip, and my mother is very sick. He knows I am returning,he left today for out of town traveling, leaving our son with his mother. If I come home tomarrow while he is out of town, If I sleep there before he returns Can he come home and make me leave?
2.If I attepmpt to make my marriage work for a few more months will that change the alimony since we’d be together for over 2 years?
- The house is in both of our names we bought it when we were married last year. He used the money from his last house for the downpayment.
He bought his car, my truck, and our boat all since we were married.
4.My husband has never even had him over night and his parents are in town I plan to return tomarrow.(when he is not there)
PLease help!!! Thank you
Dear momof2lo:
Answers to your questions (hopefully the help you are looking for):
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No, he cannot come home and make you leave if you go back and stay. I am glad he knows that you are returning, but I would still send the e-mail as proof, since his tactics have been underhanded.
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What I was trying to say about alimony is that there is often an “undetermined” amount of time which attorneys learn to say is not worth fighting for alimony in the courts. When you pay more in attorney fees than you would gain in alimony, that is not cost effective. Therefore, when negotiating, we always ask for alimony, but sometimes we advise our clients about the cost benefit analysis on filing for alimony when their spouse will not pay. It is not a clear line of two years, three years, etc.
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If the house is in both your names, you are entitled to half of the equity. When he put his separate property into the marital residence, a presumption arose that he “gifted” these funds to the marriage.
Best of luck and let us know if we can help.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorce.com
919-787-6668
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
I am 21 my husband is 35 we have been married for 22 months.I have 2 children, one is his. He makes over 6 figures and has locked me out of all bank accounts. I am currently visiting my sick mother out of state with my 4 yr old daughter. Our son is with my husband he is little and my mom is very sick. I have NEVER left my son one single night before. I have not worked or had any education beyond highschool. He told me he wanted to seperate 5 days ago (leaving me so emotional)and got me a ticket to my mothers. I have no family or friends in NC I left everything for him! and could never afford the house(or an attorney) I have nothing. Should I request alimony? what should i expect? how soon? what about the house? he says he will fight for sole custody…can he get it? I am a great mother my children are my life!!