Stay at Home Mom needs Advice!


My Husband of 10 years recently told me he wants out of our marriage. We have 2 small children and I have not had a job in over 6 years. I have none of my own money to use to seek legal advice. I’m pretty sure he contacted an attorney a few months ago, but has not admitted to it. I feel like he is staying in the house getting his ducks in a row before he leaves and I am getting scared. He recently has pushed me to get a job, I’m concerned If I am suddenly employed this will impact the child support and alimony I should be entitled to. I feel like this is why he is pushing so hard, then when I get a job he will move forward with getting the separation agreement. I told him if he was planning on leaving me to go, but he refuses to leave while he is paying the mortgage. I feel trapped. Would I be entitled to more alimony if I was not working? Is he required to pay for my legal fees? He has mentioned that we just need one lawyer but I am afraid it would be his and my rights will not be protected! Any advice would be appreciated.


If he is military and saying you guys only need one attorney, Then if I was you, I would go to Jag. Talk to them and have papers drawn up if you feel what they say is good enough to you.

Tell him to pay for you to have an attorney.

I’m sorry your going through all this, it’s hard. I was a stay at home for a long time as well. I had to find a job asap when he left. Good luck.


No, you do not need just one attorney. Please at least consult with another attorney who will guide you and look after your interests.

Remember that right now, 1/2 the assets (money) of the marriage is rightfully yours. There is also a good chance you could get him to cover your attorneys fees covered by having that awarded in court.

If you aren’t currently working, you will be imputed as having an income of minimum wage at 40 hours per week. It is probably not in your best interests to go get any job making more than that since child support is calculated based upon a ratio of percentage income of the parents.

Also, do not leave the house. If he wants the separation, let him leave, then change the locks on the house. Separation doesn’t start until one party moves out.


There is no need to rush out and get a job at this point. Your husband has a duty to support you and the children by way of alimony and child support . As a dependant spouse, you are likely entitled to have him pay a good portion of your attorney’s fees as well. You cannot use one lawyer as a lawyer can only represent one party in a domestic situation. I suggest you meet with an attorney in the immediate future to ensure your rights are protected.


FWIW: I appreciate the lawyer telling you that it’s not necessary to run out and get a job at this point. In my case, after a 21 year marriage and 20 years of being out of the work force, I really had no choice but to get a job shortly after the separation because the ex controlled all the funds. Before employment, the PSS/Child Support was fair, but I had attorney fees and nothing for backup. I still had no choice but to work. However, in the Final Outcome, because I had a job, the alimony and child support that I received was substantially less than the PSS and temporary child support and now I have no choice but to work the rest of my life. I went back to work at age 50 out of necessity and my contributions as a homemaker were never considered. Probably the worst thing that I did was finding a job and I was married much longer and am much older than you are. Find yourself a good attorney. No one should have to go through what I went through. I received no attorney fees either. The fees came out of my portion of the marital assets and I will never recover from the amount I had to pay.