I truly understand, looks like my situation is headed to court as well thanks to my STBX. Good Luck to you!
I just got thru the first part of court.
I tried to work it out without court (neither of us have money), and he (with new girlfriend’s urging behind him) said he was suing me for divorce and joint custody.
I told him no way on the joint custody. I’d been sole caregiver for our dd since she was 18 months old to present (35 months old now).
He’d not paid anything to help.
I’d asked him to leave, get help, and come back home.
He left, got a girlfriend, and not coming back.
I begged the bank to loan me retainer fee to handle the custody part.
I won temporary, Primary Custody.
He never showed.
He’d called my attorney the day before court, begging her to continue, stating that he’d not had time/money to get an attorney in wake county (where we live … he’s now in Guilford County).
We told him HE was the one who threatened all of this, and demanded to go thru the court system.
So, we didn’t postpone, and he didn’t show up b/c he “couldn’t miss work”, and then was “laid off” the next week.
He’s still not paying.
I filed for child support, thru the state.
The child support enforcement person told me it would be hard, stating that I make a lot of money.
I reminded her that I WAS THE ONLY ONE paying ALL of our bills he’d left me with, been forced to sell our home at a loss, and move in with parents with a baby, and still couldn’t afford rent b/c I was paying ALL OF OUR UNSECURED DEBT WITH NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT.
I told them woman I had to pay out $3600/month, and only brought in $2200 month.
I told her to DO THE MATH. HE NEEDS TO PAY FOR HIS DAUGHTER.
I told her where he worked, who he worked for, all of his addresses, and they are still dragging this out. Now, he’s unemployed, but getting unemployment benefits.
Before he was laid off, he was making $12/hr. That might not seem like a lot, but was more than he ever made consistently while we where together for 7 years.
He was bringing home $1650/month, and only paying an overpriced car payment of $400/month. No rent, no bills. Nothing.
He did this for almost a year, so he should have saved up $13,750.
And … he claims not to even have $15 in his pocket (and with his lack of money management, he’s probably telling the truth!)
Good luck The mommy. I know your situation, I am the only one taking care of my three children. My stbx has agreed to give me child support of his own free will, but it is still not enough. It takes care of the house and the truck he left me with, neither of which I can sell because I need them. Now my stbx wants joint custody. After not being involved in their lives much. I hope I can make it through and you and kristen as well. I just hate to spend money I don’t have.
I am getting ready to take my ex to court for costudy of our 2 boys…the support is truly needed!
kristen k coward