No Access to Day Care Provider - X refuses


I have a child from a previous marriage. Currently re-married with other children. I am above board with everything action I take. My wife and I made a decision for her to stay home and provide day care for all children during the summer. This comes at a financial sacrifice but one we are willing to make. Told my x about it…she had her 19 yr old brother come over from overseas to watch out 8 yr. old son. I have asked her for the following in e-mail, text message, voice and now certified letter for the following:

Contact info during the day - haven’t received any.
Schedule - she has made unilateral decisions without informing.
Opportunity to speak with brother as provider.

FYI I share custody of our son
This has been going on for 2 weeks.

What can I do?

I don’t have a problem going to court over the issue, but what a waste of taxpayer money.



I’m a little confused as to what the exact question is.

You have a right to have your wife watch your child on your custody time but your ex has the right to have her brother watch your child on her custody time. That is if there is nothing in your papers to say otherwise.


Yes, you are correct…I should have the right to have my wife watch the child during our time and yes, the x is having her brother watch the child during her time. The PSA only suggests that I am to provide day care…which was proposed and that we agree upon a day care provider. Actually the PSA states that I have “first right of refusal” if the x can’t watch and vice versa. We both work. My issue is that she refuses to give me any form of contact information for the individual “her brother” watching our son.

No phone number - what if there is an emergency.
No schedule

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe that every parent should have access to the individual/s providing day care. I have been refused access.

Thus the question…what can I do? Aside from court, I’ve exhausted all avenues.



I understand what he’s saying… If he’s got joint custody, shouldn’t he have the contact information available at his disposal too? I’m new to this state, but I would think that is only fair that he have that information.

He’s not arguing over allowing the ex-brother-in-law being the babysitter… he’s just requesting the contact info and hours that he’d be watching their son… I don’t think that’s too much to ask. Then again, like I said, I’m new here.


Thanks JP, you’re spot on!

I’ve requested the contact and schedule information in the following ways:

Verbally in Person
Voice Mail
Text Message

Recently Certified Mail.

Would appreciate any direction in regards to recourse.

Thanks Again!


I don’t disagree that she should tell him. I was just asking for clarification thinking that the attorney will then be able to answer the question with more information faster than without it.


You have every right to know what is going on with your child, the contact information and so forth. If your ex continues to refuse to provide this information, the proper avenue for relief is to force her hand and file a motion for contempt.