Not divorced and ex has a child on the way


#1

What you can do is continue to be a good Mom to your son. There is absolutely NOTHING you can do to change the situation between your ex and your son. I feel for the child that cries when he’s with a parent. It is sad, but all you can do is support him. One day, the relationship my change for the better. OR it may not. Your ex will end up ‘paying’ (emotionally) for the lack of attention he shows his son now. OR maybe the ex is stressed out because of his new situation and thinks he’s ‘protecting’ his son. Who knows? But you can’t change the situation nor can you change the Ex, so you just have to bite your tongue, love your son, support your son, and take things one day at a time.


#2

I agree with tryingtomoveon, you cannot “make” the other parent be… well a parent. Don’t push your son one way or another. Do give him the opritunities to contact his dad. Have his phone number availible, encourage him to send birthday cards. Whether the father steps up or not, you will have done all you can. When you sone grows older and sees that you did what you could he’ll put the responsibility where it belongs. Don’t get me wrong, taking the high road is hard and you will stumble. I am speaking as a child of divorce where my daddy was the “perfect” parent in my child mind because he’d let me do whatever my momma told me no to. Only after I got older did I realize he was immature and pretty much a drain on anybody he was around. But my momma let me find that out on my own. She didn’t down talk him or bring up that he was pretty much a deadbeat dad. She let me form my own opinion. Now, speaking as a parent who has to deal with an irresponsible ex, it sucks. The best advise I can give, is be honest when your child asks about his dad. Not vindictive, but honest…ie “why won’t daddy come see me?” “I don’t know Junior, nest time you talk to him, you can ask… now why don’t you bring me that book and tell me about your favorite part (video game… pokemon cards… etc etc)” You son is old enoug to speak up for himself, if it bothers him enough and he nows he has your support, he will say what he needs to say to his daddy. Be prepared for the “it’s all your fault” stage. Being the diciplinarian, you will be hit with the backlash of being the “bad guy”. My son was like this from about 10yo til 12yo, the almost magically my son came back. But as a young man instead of a little boy. Good luck. Emotional neglect is right up there with financial neglect as far as terrible things to do to your child. One thing though, while you have the opprituntiy, make sure you have sole custody. It may not look like a big deal now, but when your son gets older and his daddy sees he’s missing out, he could try and wedge himself between you and your son in order to make up for his guilt.


#3

It sounds like you have a lot going on, can you tell me specifically what your questions are?

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#4
quote:
[i]Originally posted by Helena Nevicosi[/i] [br]It sounds like you have a lot going on, can you tell me specifically what your questions are?

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.



#5

Sure my question is on a legal aspect. I am in the process of trying to file for a divorce and I want to know what my ex is liable for since before seperating my home qas repoed and I had to start all over. And for him he moved in with the woman that is now caring his child and left me and my seven year old child to defend for ourselves. Dont get me wrong it was a struggle but i made it through it all. I just recenlty began child support but what is that because all of it is going towards medical expenses. I am working two jobs and going to school full time to complete my degree in criminal justice. I only have one more sesmeter left and I am anot going to give up

quote:
Originally posted by Helena Nevicosi
[br]It sounds like you have a lot going on, can you tell me specifically what your questions are?

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.



#6

I am not a lawyer, but you can sue him for alimony on the grounds of abandonment. You can also sue his girlfriend for alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation, which if she has any money might help you financially get back on your feet.

I wish you luck.


#7

If you are asking about support, provided your spouse earns more income than you, he would be liable for alimomy and child support. In addition the two of you would divide one half of the marital assets.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#8

My husband and I have only been seperated less than a year. We have a seven year old child that the has lied to on many many occaisons. He want call nor will he come by to see him unless my son calls him. We were together for 17 years and the last two years before we seperated he was having an affair with the female that is now carrying his child. I need some advice on what should I do. I resent him for the fact that the female that he is presently living with has four other childern already and my son constanly cries because his father want even be man enough to be a father to him.What should I do.