Not sure what to do?

My wife called me today at 10:30am and asked to speak with our 3 year old, I always oblige these requests and gave the phone to our 3 year old. She told our 3yo she was at the end of the driveway and to come see her. (Her scheduled visitation is NOT today) I told my wife that now was not a good time, as I was about to leave and needed to get 3 year old ready. While I was in the shower, our three year old unlocked the back door of the house and ran to the end of the driveway to see her. My wife then put our 3 year old in her car and said she would be back at 2pm. I said I was on my way out of town to Greensboro and will not be back by 2, so that she will have to keep our 3 year old until tomorrow am. She said she could not do that because she had to go to work tonight. I pulled out my video camera and asked her to please transfer our 3 year old to my car, as today she is not scheduled for visitation and I needed to get going and that if she wanted to change visitation schedule we can discuss that another time. She refused to transfer our child, I was running over an hour late at this point of bickering, so I left and said see you tomorrow. She is now calling me non stop demanding that I get back to take our 3yo. I am visiting a dying relative in a hospital and planned not coming back until after visiting hours. What should I do? Go back or let her deal with her decision to take our 3yo. Should I have called the police? Very confused?

Going forward, how do you recommend handling her calls, when asks to speak with the kids and tells the them to come see her at end of driveway (unannounced, shows up at the house on non-visitation days)? I have an order (wake county) that prevents her from coming on the property, so she has to remain at the end of the driveway. Should I put keyed deadbolt locks on the doors and keep the kids away from her? This seems so harsh. I understand that I need to allow her to talk with the kids when she calls, this is the source of the problem. I have without fail showed up ontime, everytime for her scheduled visitations, as where she shows up approx 50% of the time, but wants to, as she says “I will see them whenever I damn well want to”

I recommend you go back and get your child. Moving forward, install dead bolts, and refuse her telephone contact if she is in the driveway.