Order Modifation


#1

What can we do to protect ourselves…

My ex-wife has been a bully throughout our entire ordeal. We have dealt with her threats and harassment way too long. Can you give me some insight on what we can do for the following instances or if it’s really worth fighting.

Parent Alienation: My ex-wife has told the children in previous instances that I dont love them and I do not care about them. Since the divorce she finds other ways to cause alienation because the judge put a clause in the visitation order stating that neither parent can speak adversely about the other parent, to or in front of the children. Now she says things to them to makes them feel guilty when they come over. i.e. my oldest daughter said she did not want to come because her mother has no one at home with her and she would be by herself. She also stated that I wasnt lonely because I had my wife and stepchildren with me. (which sounds exactly like things she has said in the past like telling them to ask me why I left their mom to be with my current wife). One moment things will be fine and then one of the children will as to call their mom. All of a sudden they start crying when they get on the phone with her and want to go home to her, which leads me to believe their is more alienation and manipulation.

Harassment/Bullying: She really believes that she can do whatever she wants to my family because we share children… like we have to put up with her and uses the children as her crutch. She has in the past sent these hateful emails to me that are full of belittling and nasty comments, even telling me she would make my life hell. She has come to my home and when I asked her to leave she called the police and made a false claim saying that she was having trouble picking up her children. The police escorted her away and told me to tell her not to return or she will be arrested. Once while I was at work and my wife was watching the children, my daughter called her to tell her she was sick. She forced a conversation with my wife which led to the ex screaming at my wife and my wife hanging up on her. My ex then called my home 3 other times and left a message threatening to call the police and have them sent to the home to check the wellbeing of the children, when there was not an issue of their safety. My wife did file a threatening phone call police report.

Last night my daughter called her and she started crying on the phone. The ex asked me what was going on and because she didnt like my answer and the fact that I told her I would not argue over the phone which lead to me hanging up, she sent to police to my home to check the well being of the children (which to me is reporting a false claim). The police did tell the children that they cannot call crying to their mother everytime they are with me and that it was my visitaion.

These situations among others have created a emotional stress on my children and my family. We are prisoners in our own home. So my questions are:

Can their be some kind of no contact order in place where she cannot disturb my visitation with the children, or at least when the children contact her that she can not initiate contact with me.

How do we claim parental alienation? I have the instances documented.

Can she be charged with violating a law for filing false reports with the police to harass my family?

One more thing…

We are not allowed to have a dog unless it is in the backyard and away from the children because of another uproar she created. We were puppy sitting my sisters pitbull and puppies for about a month or so. In her attempt to keep the children from me, she had my daughter say that she was scared of the dog, which I know is untrue. The dog was wellbehaved and mild manored. My daughter showed no fear of the dog and wasnt around the dog much because we kept her in a kennell. Her mother had even dropped her off at my sisters when she had the dog and th dog roamed freely so she didnt see any danger then.

My family wants a puppy and I do not feel it is fair that she can have a dog because the order does not restrict her. And it is not fair to my wife and step children who love animals and want a house dog.

Can the order be modified and is it likely that a judge will do so?


#2

Unless she makes a physical threat you cannot obtain a restraining order, but may want to consider filing reports of the harassment in order to create a record of the same, and make the police aware of her behavior.
NC does not yet recognize a separate claim for parental alienation, but you may want to use the evidence you do have in support of a motion to modify custody based on the new circumstances the children are having to deal with as a result of your ex’s bad behavior.
I do not know if she can be charged with any crime, and would suggest you ask the police about their policies in dealing with folks like her

I don’t know what a judge would do with respect to the dog issue, it really depends on why the restriction was included in the first place.