Parental alienation


#1

I was wondering how NC judges/court view the subject on severe parental alienation when their is substantial evidence against the other parent on alienating the WHOLE side of the Childs fathers family (father,stepmom.siblings,grandparents)
Thank you.


#2

:Not an Attorney::

A Judge told my ex here in NC that Parental Alienation and it’s syndrome have been discredited by the scientific community and he didn’t want to here the excuse. So it may depend on the judge and the science to back up the claim.


#3

I figure we will just submit the evidence and let that speak for itself without uttering the PA words
Its really difficult to watch my husband and his family go through this type of suffering of not even being able to talk to the child because of lies on top of lies that the mother has told this child and he can’t even come up with reaons he dislikes our family I do know
the ex is extremely jealous of me cause we have had another child and got married …she told this to my husband cause now she’s not the only woman that’s has been married to him and she’s not the only one who has a child with him…funny she’s been married now for 6 yes and has been divorced from my husband for 12 yrs…she had really nothing to do with her son until we got married refuses to let me talk with him…now he hates me when he and I had an excellent relationship…
My husband has sole.custody of him and his son won’t even talk to him and hates him when he’s raised him for 13 yrs …reasons are unknown…but we do have in txt…email that she will not allow us to talk to him not will she allow him to come back the only way she allows is email which he rarely checks and she has told us that he wants nothing to do with any family here in WA…its hard when there is a 3 hr difference…but sigh the things we go through when we love our kids…we will see how a judge pans this out and hopefully we.com get our son back and fix all this through family therapy…hopefully its not to late to repair the damage of emotional abuse the mother has inflicted…I know mom has been diagnosed with bi polor and borderline personality disorder and been charged with felonies, identity theft and child abandonment when her son was 3 …lying and manipulation come very natural to her…so hopefully the judge can see this as well…I don’t know I feel so lost i’m not used to being around deception like this…


#4

Some other thoughts…i’m not out to destroy the mom in fact I wanted to Co parent with her and tried to befriend her but to no avail that didn’t work out like I thought it would
I just wanted to have my happy stepson back the one I knew…
My ex and my current have no problems Co parenting our other 2 boys in all we have 3 boys 1 girl and another boy on the way…I just wish some parents could play fair and accept other parents as positive role models…our family is blended and have lots of love to give and we have never involved our children in adult issues…I just wish we could have the same respect back and to not be lies to and not have kids put in the middle of hate being whispered in their ears…


#5

I don’t have any experience with NC judges on this issue, but the takeaway from cases I’ve read about nationally is that you need a substantial amount of evidence.


#6

I can’t speak for all judges, but I like to imagine that they all take alienation very seriously in custody cases. It really depends on the total facts of the case, but I have seen it successfully argued as a reason for a change in primary residence of a child. If this is really happening to your husband, you should advise him to have a consultation with an attorney in your area to discuss the likelihood of success on a motion to modify.


#7

Thank you for taking your time to respond to my questions…its very appreciated


#8

My attorney in Forsyth county said she recently saw a mother lose custody of her child and visitation reduced to every other weekend because of Alienation. It depends on the Judge, but it is a hot topic with them and according to her more and more Judges get upset at the alienating parent when it occurs. Document, document, document everything. paawareness.org and parentalalienation.com may help.

Good luck.


#9

I am not a lawyer. I have re-read your post because I can’t understand how your husband has “sole custody” but can’t talk to or spend time with his son. It’s my understanding that in NC the term is broad. You’ll get the most info from your court order but shouldn’t he have quite a bit of contact with his child? She could be found in contempt if she is keeping the child from his father. The child doesn’t get to make a choice where or when he goes and everyone needs to follow the order until it’s modified. Also, does the court order say that dad has to ask mom’s permission to take the son to a doctor/counselor? He obviously needs to talk to a professional. I wouldn’t be so worried about alienation of the father’s family members as I would be about alienation of the father himself. Also, if the mother is jealous of you, you may need to take a step back for the sake of the child. Let the father handle all contact with the mother when it comes to their child and keep out of it. If email is the only contact that the father has with the child for now, he needs to start checking it religiously.


#10

To baldbird it’s a long complicated story… but he was only supposed to visit his mom for a year… when he came back he exhibited mental issues in which in our state he did not have to participate if he did not want to so we talk to the mom and she said due to what she did and allowed him to do she would take care of it and had a hospital bed waiting for him in NC… so we sent him back to get the help he needed… well it was all a lie she never took him to the hospital and had told other people that she was going to lie to us about it just to get him back down there the other people told us about it… we confronted her she finally came out with the truth that her and the son came up with this plan and since he had stayed with her for 6 months prior he now was a resident of NC and we have to go to court to get him back here…my husband does indeed have full sole custody of his son but while all this has been going on and with court being delayed so many times…she had told him many many untruths about this family and the way we feel about him… so badly to the extent he no longer wants to talk with us or have anything to do with us or extended family…she got him taken away by the mp’s for child abandonment when he was 3 has been in and out of mental hospital… had identity theft charges put on her along with fraud and cashing checks that did not belong to her along with various drug issues… but she’s been married for 6 years with two stepchildren and she seemed to be doing better so my husband allowed his son to go down there to get to know his mother better she’s also been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and bipolar which we found out after he was over there… so now we are in the process of fighting for him to come back so we can fix his issues and the damage she has done … and now she wants to get us for child support when she herself never paid a dime for more than 14 years… when he left here he was 180 pounds… and now he’s up to almost 300 pounds and expected us to foot the bill for an expensive weight trainer which she did not clear with us first my husband said he would pay for half of it even though it was her fault for letting him over eat so much the ate at Burger King 3 times a day while her husband was deployed well us paying for half of it was not good enough for her so she got mad and took us to support enforcement and since then all that comes out of her mouth about the son are lies about what he’s doing what he’s up to none of her stories ever match up so as you can see it is very difficult to try and visit with him when we live across the United States I hope this clears up some of the questions you had


#11

oh and my husband has never involved his son any of the adult issues it is the mother who is involving the son in everything she let him read all the court papers and my husband still calls and texts and emails him daily and of course we get no response… we did get one response and that was he did not want to talk to his father because he plays mind games with him so as you see she has twisted this kid’s head up… when him and his son we’re best friends for 14 years all the evidence we have is planning clear what’s going on because she put it all in writing through text in email… and since he has been out there we do document document document all I can hope for is that the judge sees what’s going on and that we get him back because she took him away from us under false pretenses


#12

You’re situation is proof that a verbal agreement alone is a very bad idea. When the other party decides not to send the child back, it’s just your word that you had an “agreement”. I say that for others, not to chastise you. Obviously, you understand that now. First, you need a lawyer, like, yesterday! Second, don’t give mom a penny unless it’s COURT ORDERED. That includes paying half for a trainer. Dad should have been very involved in the care plan for his son in NC. He dropped the ball and you can tell him I said that. Also, in most states, a child under the age of 18 doesn’t have a say in his medical treatment. Actually, most need a parent’s consent to get treatment. Something about that story sounds off to me but I could easily be wrong. Which state are you in? That question is doubly relevant because unless there is a new court order, the state you live in still has jurisdiction. I would talk to a lawyer in your state TODAY. Mom can ask for anything she wants ( a year of back support, a seat on the next space ship to Mars, etc…) but that doesn’t mean a judge will agree. In my case, support only went back to the date that my modification was filed. Good luck!


#13

Thank you baldbird for your replies… but this story is just too complicated to keep explaining and going through all the things that have happened my husband has done all the right things we were very involved… we were just getting turned in circles of Lies… if you like you can go back and read my older posts we do have a lawyer and its getting taken care of