Parenting Agreement


#1

My STBX is active duty. We have a temporary parenting agreement at this time. We go back to mediation in the summer. If we do not agree on a permanent agreement we will go in front of the judge.

In the past my spouse has objected to me moving out of state even though he deploys and travels often. He is not a resident of the state nor do we have any family in the state at all. He only has every other weekend visitation and I am on my own to take care of our minor child.

He has requested a stay before because of active duty gave the court and myself little notice so I didn’t have a chance to go to court. He knew in advance that he was deploying. I feel he will do it again because he doesn’t want me to appear before the judge. I feel this is a abuse of the stay. I fear he will do this again.

Question: I would like to move out of the state and plan to bring this up during mediation and to the judge. If he deploys before we get a chance to go to mediation or in front of the judge, can I still move out of the state closer to family or would I have to wait until he gets back? If he contents the move with the court when he comes back I will come back for court and explain to the judge I have no help and he is always deployed.


#2

Unless your temporary agreement specifically prohibits a move, or such move would make his visitation impracticable or impossible before deployment, you may move with the children, but could be forced to move back at a later date if the judge orders you to do so.


#3

The parent agreement states " The parents agree that if either of them should move out of the area thus making the Parenting agreement impratical, they agree to give each other at least 3 months notice and may meet prior to such prior to such move to attempt to draw up a new parenting agreement if they are unable to reach an agreement, the parents will have the right to seek judical ruiing. I did let him know that I plan to relocate but I would give him 3 months notice which I did send him notice notice this month but do not plan to move until September. I did not give timeframe or locate but will discuss it during our mediation in June.

If he does not give me proper notice of deployment to schedule mediation/request a hearing or will not meet with me in a timely manner, will this prohibit my move?


#4

The way the agreement is worded, if he does not agree to the move, you must wait until a hearing can be had.


#5

He is deploying again. He has not given me any timely notice. Can I move and when he comes back but just fly our child down on his scheduled weekends until a court date is set? I would still make his every other weekend visitation until we go to court to determine if I am allow to stay out of the state?

Can the judge denied his request for a extension of stay because he keeps deploying without allowing the court to hear the case?
In your experience will I have a good chance of being able to move given his constant travels and deployments out of the state and country?

The issue is the he deploys almost every 3-4 months. It makes it diffcult to go before the judge because he deploys before we can even go in front of the courts. We both have no family here to help me out.


#6

You may move, and proceed with visitation as you suggest, but keep in mind the court may order you to move back at some point. The judge cannot deny a stay requested for active duty deployment of a member of the military.
I cannot predict the outcome of any one case, but his constant moves should work in your favor.


#7

Thank you very much for your help.

Will the judge look at my move as a negative action?


#8

I cannot say for sure what any judge may or may not perceive once presented with all the facts.


#9

We went to mediation and he agreed to the move but decided to wait to sign the agreement until his return which will be 3-4 months, then court dates are another 4 months. I would like to move before school starts again. If I move could the judge order him primary custody or his family if I don’t move back. My exspouse can not care for the child because of his busy work schedule and travels but his parents would take care of the child. I do not want to lose custody just because I want to move for family support but I have no one to help me with my kids in NC. My ex spouse is constantly gone and I fear that he will have his attorney order me back and he will tell the judge he did not agree just to gain custody so his parents can care for our child.I have taken primary care of our child since birth.
Also my ex is not a resident of NC, he has no family here, he could be stationed anywhere at anytime and he has deployed 3 times since 2010.


#10

Settlement negotiations are not admissible in court, so there is a potential that you could move, he then comes back and refuses to sign the agreement, and you could potentially be ordered to move back.