Has anyone had experience with a court-appointed parenting coordinator in cases of high conflict custody? Pros and cons?
giggityone
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I have been waiting to see if anyone replies to your question. I would like to know the same thing.
Are you just thinking about asking for a parenting coordinator or has this been done already?
I have been interested in this question as well. My judge has suggested this to me and the ex several times.
This has always been my thoughts on it. If you are in a high conflict situation which it sounds like you are and mine definitely is then you have trouble compromising when it comes to issues regarding your children. And to have a mediator/parent coordinator requires that both parties are willing to try to be somewhat compromising to resolve issues outside of court. In my situation, I have an ex who absolutely refuses to make compromises. He seems to always agree to disagree with anything I say or suggest regardless of the best interest for our child. My ex is the type who simply thrives on battling me, stirring up trouble and giving me a hard time for whatever reason. Honestly, it has nothing to do with our child or her interest. In these types of cases, I don’t think much can be done to mediate or compromise. In these types of cases, unfortunately it takes a person of higher authority to lay down the law and it seems to be the only way my ex will half way listen to reason.
In addition, it can sometimes be an additional cost. When I spend all my time and money battling someone to do the right things for our child, the last thing I need is an added expense to that tab. So my thought has always been it is better for me to use my money where it will most benefit and that is unfortunately making my attorney richer by the minute.
I thought a parenting coordinator had the authority to make decisions for the parents if they cannot agree.
If that is the case, it seems it would be a good alternative to litigation. At least it would get a resolution to the problem in a more timely manner.
I had a custody evaluator in my case. He lied about things my oldest child never said and the big bucks allowed my ex to get what he wanted. It’s a joke and a gross waste of money. They make you look at ink blots. Ink blots determine what is best for the child along with standardized tests that make all women look like shrews. I was sent a redacted evaluation of a case similar to mine. When the results of all our tests came back, guess what? I was a mirror image of the “wife” in the case and my “husband” was a mirror image of the guy in the case 'similar to mine". Needless to say, just how many questions can you answer honestly that makes you different from the rest of the world? It’s a gross waste of time and how can these “professionals” tell YOU what is best for your child? They cannot. It’s only another way for the psychologist to make money from your misfortune. How on earth can a “parenting co-ordinator” who sees you for maybe 2 hours tell you what is best for your child? Complete strangers seem to know more than you do. It’s all hogwash and BS. Making money off of someone else’s pain. DO IT YOURSELF! You cannot do any worse, believe me and might save a few bucks in the process to leave to your children. The system is hogwash!
Parenting coordinators (PC) are new SCAM schema on Americans!!! They will try to convince unaware parents to go to them for custody evaluation during the child custody dispute. They works in a gang with several corrupt lawyers who will try to concince you that it may be cheaper then go to court. To get your trust they will pretend to be fair and just in beginner, but one parties fall into his trap, they will suck thousand of dollars from both parties involved. At the end of custody evaluation PC will recommend you to go to Parental Coordinator to himself of to one of his friends. Then he will totally get control of both parents life, because PC are both judicial, executive, legislative and financialy motivated party in this case, i.e. they making the “rules”, decide if you follow them, panish parents by putting limitations on all aspects of parental time. Using you natural love to kids he will be controlling every step of your relationships with them and you personal life. PC will tell you where you can live, what friends you can have, he will control every word you can say, what candy your kids can eat, and many more – sky is the limit, because there is no law controling them, whatever they think in “child best interest” they can do. Also PC will charge both parties for every word of this precious “recommendations”. Eventually he will cost you both thousands more then just go to court. DO NOT FALL INTO HIS SCHEMA! If you did already, try to go to court and have a judge to remove PC from your case, but many times PCs are very resilient to removal. If file malpractice suite or complaint to psyhologyst board, PC probably drop, but you will be judged by the same PC like one you have, and PC ask court to assign a new PC they choose to your family.
This several good links for parenting coordinator victims:
http://www.barbrack.com/news/20-rules-of-engagement-for-parent-cooridnators.html
We looked at getting a parenting coordinator. I found out they do not have the ability to make a decision at all. What they do is try to reason with you. If they cant resolve the issue they are available for thier opinion in court. SO you end up paying for the coordinator and a lawyer anyway.
Interesting. I wonder if it might still be worth it in my case. I don’t have an attorney and have represented myself. My ex is a nut job and we can’t agree on anything. At least a Parent Coordinator would get to see the real deal and could make recommendations in court rather than it be a he said she said thing.
Not everything can be dealt with in an Order. Things will come up and we simply cannot communicate at all. He isn’t even logical. He wants the opposite of whatever I suggest not matter how much sense it makes or even if it benefits him to go with my suggestions. Just for spite.
Hi please talk with me about the CONs, CONS and more Cons of the parenting coordinators… I am working to FIX the very broken law… if the licensing board will not govern these group of people now… Do you think there might be some issues with the group of people?
A Parenting Coordinator (formerly known as Special Master) is typically an attorney or therapist appointed by the court to make decisions regarding visitation issues and other minor disputes that arise between parents with regard to their children. These decisions are made in the form of recommendations to the court, which are then binding on the parties unless and until an objection is filed by one of the parties and the court overrules the Parenting Coordinator. However, in my experience, Parenting Coordinators, although not infrequently challenged, are rarely overruled. Parenting Coordinators are generally appointed in high conflict cases. It’s a way of providing the parties with a faster and less expensive way of resolving issues than going to court. There’s less formality too, as each parent can simply call the Parenting Coordinator and present his/her issues.
Hello to all in divorce land. ITs 22 Jan 12. Court appointed child custody coordinator makes me go Hmmmmmmm!!! Now what is the reason that someone would want that??? Better yet why would a court judge order that??? If both parents are not fit for parenting/custody and they are in court batteling it out, shouldnt the minor children be placed in with a family that can provide them with LOVE and all the goes with it until one or both bio parents straighten their act out. I have a brothernlaw that lost his kids in court. His bad issue!!! ANGER lashing.
If the parents are both abiding parents but are just stubborn about custody and/or dont agree on visitation, you simply file a motion in court to explanin why you need to have visitation adjusted. If the other parent violated the court order, they are subjected to jail by the court.
LOOK HERE FOLKS!!! There is no such thing as a perfect parent. If you have issues, seek help for the sake of your child. These young kids will immulate you when they are older. It is better for your child to have supervised visitation than not see them at all until your issues are resolved.
Now I may be wrong. I have never heard of a custody coordinator being issued. If someone has, please respond. Have a good one.
First, The Pro Side.
Parenting coordinators are:
[ul]Appointed by a judge.[/ul]
[ul]Given the power to resolve conflicts between parents who either are filing for divorce or have filed and just can’t seem to agree on anything.[/ul]
[ul]Qualified mental health professionals, usually with extensive training in areas of family relations; or,[/ul]
[ul]Attorneys in good standing with their state’s Bar Association; thus, they are well-versed in family law and have some “skin in the game” with regard to dealing fairly between both parties.[/ul]
[ul]An alert to quarrelsome parents, reminding them that their child’s well-being is at stake, and as such, their interactions with one another must be more child-focused and less self-focused.[/ul]
[ul]An extra layer of protection for a spouse, who was the victim of domestic violence at the hands of the other.[/ul]
[ul]Capable of decongesting the courts by devoting time and attention that a judge doesn’t have.[/ul]
Next, The Con Side.
Parenting coordinators are not:
[ul]The people, who know and love the child best, yet they’re placed in a role where they have to make decisions for the welfare of the child.[/ul]
[ul]Infallible, meaning that the possibility for abuse of power by the PC is not farfetched; furthermore, their schedules are pretty full, so room for human error is present.[/ul]
[ul]An outright prevention of domestic violence; the most they can do is testify to a parent’s non-compliance.[/ul]
[ul]The people, who, in a perfect world, should be making the decisions of what doctor a child sees, nor should they be the people, who determine family routines and schedules.[/ul]
I HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO GET OUT OF HAVING A PC MODIFY MY VISITATION FOR 20 MONTHS NOW IN MASSACHUSETTS. I have decided that all the literature out there for divorcing parents about PC’s is written by and for that industry. This is not some movement that “the people” started because it was needed - it is an industry that can offer anything and then deliver anything.
SINCE IN MASSACHUSTTS THE PC HAS NO LEGAL CONFIDENTIALITY WITH EITHER PARENT, OR THEIR ATTORNEYS, I AM STARTING A WEBSITE WHERE PEOPLE CAN CHRONICLE THEIR PC EXPERIENCE FROM START TO WHERE IT IS, WITH REAL FACTS AND DOCUMENTS AND NAME THE PROFESIONALS INVOLVED. THEN GIVE A SYNOPSYS INCLUDING THE PROS AND CONS AND THEIR RECOMMENDATIONS TO PARENTS. THIS KIND OF FULL REPORTING WILL AID IN THE PEOPLE DECIDING (1) IS THIS RIGHT FOR THIS DIVORCE AND OUR KIDS? AND (2) WHAT DO WE WANT TO REQUIRE FROM THIS PC CONTRACT FROM THE PROS AND CONS PEOPLE CAN READ.
I would prefer something more of a growing collection of parents’ “stories” with facts driving them than a “rant” site, which I would shut down. So the site will need to have some strict rules to protect contributors from doing anything libelous or slanderous and keep the language informative.
I am going to start with my awful situation and I will post the work in progress site here. I am looking for a group of people who would like to help make this work as a way to give parents help in making choices that can have huge impacts on their children and their own happiness.
Please comment if you want to be informed of this experiment or even better - work on the project. I should post the link in the next few months.
PC in NC use the NOH process to legally change things. From my observation there is no due process format and no requirement or oversight for the PC to actually do there job. They get to chose how much money they make by how how much they engage with other professionals all the while charging you to talk to others who also charge you to talk to the PC. Our last PC spent less than 25% of her billed time with either myself or my ex. She filed 4 different NOH in 18 months and never met with my ex and myself.
Is there a link available.