Plzadvise


#1

I am so incredibly fed up the court system. They don’t give a rip about fathers / fathers rights. All they care is that fathers pay for child support fathers pay for medical fathers pay pay pay…. What are my rights?
No offense to any of you single moms out there doing the best for your kids this doesnt apply to you - my ex does everything she can to alienate me from my kids and I am a good father. I have a nice home for the kids when they visit, stable job, environment, etc.
I understand I have to support my kids and I do above and beyond. The mother is allowed to do as she pleases; move 6 times in 11 yrs, changing their schools , have unstable environment, allow our tween daughter to be alone with her estranged husband - that’s okay and how dare I have a problem with it.
We now have a parent coordinator involved and it has been the biggest waste of time and money. I brought my ex to court for contempt for multiple things. My ex and the judge involve a parent coordinator. All the PC does is side with my ex and contradict herself; “oh the kids need a stable environment.” then my ex decides she wants to move further away and the PC is okay with stating “the kids are very excited!” What impact does this move have on my relationship, visits, exchanges with my kids? How will this move impact their lives. As it is when I call half the time they don’t answer, or they are eating, watching tv their mother is hovering over them not allowing me to speak to them (yet when I get the kids she instructs them to go to their room and lock the door). Its so one sided and I am their parent too but I have no say in anything. We have a Parenting Order that states that the parent with the kids sends a weekly update informing the other parent of educational, health and social issues; the parent coordinator decided that wasn’t important and I could get all that info on my own (I do get emails occasionally from the school, their therapist wont release info unless I pay her $50 each session, their activity instructors dont reply to my emails or return my calls). My kids aren’t in NC they are several hundred miles away and soon will be even further away. NC has jurisdiction over the case.
I was to have the kids for a long weekend and its out lined in the order but the PC wanted to change things and arrange travel etc the same thing happened very recently for spring break. Everytime we go back to what I originally request or go by the order. The PC creates all this drama and everything is up in the air until 36 hrs before my visits which creates a very stressful environment. I am so worked up over everything I can barely enjoy my visit. Is the PC just creating more drama so she can be involved longer and I have to pay her more?
I just sent the PC an email because ex and I are going back and forth over summer visits; I went on to vent about the issues, paying the amount of support I pay PLUS medical, in 1 year I spent over 13 K in child support and $2300 in medical support. I only make 35 K a year how am I suppose to live, do things when I have the kids etc. She allows the medical bills to accumulate to a large amount and request I pay her within 30 days thus far 2011 I havent seen a medical update and it’s the end of april. The response I got from the PC was “it would be wise for you to pay your court ordered obligation, put a smile on your face and wait for her them” I have no idea what she is trying to even say. But see what I mean?
Is this how a PC is really suppose to work? I thought the pc was suppose to be biased and help the parents resolve issues but instead she creates more conflict, and sides with the mother. What can I do? Our Pc is also a lawyer can I complain to the bar about her behavior? When I am on the phone with her she yells and insults me the last time we spoke i hung up on her. I am really fed up with this whole situation. Rather than dealing with my ex I now have to deal with my ex and the pc. And now if I email my ex I get “ talk with the pc” How is that helping or communicating together with the help of a pc? Thanks for your help and advice.


#2

The PC will remain in place until the court determines it is no longer necessary, so long as your ex continues to refuse to behave reasonably the PC will remain involved.


#3

I know this was lengthy; what I was asking was:
Since the PC creates added stress and drama to rack up more of a bill what can be done?
The PC is rude and disrespectful to me both over the phone and in email what can be done?
The PC always sides with the mother what can be done?
The PC is also a lawyer can I complain to the bar or what other steps do I need to take to file an action against her for her behavior?

Thanks!


#4

You can make a motion to have the parenting coordinator removed, but based on the facts you list I do not think the judge will release the PC, things are still too contentious between you and your ex. Alternatively you can file a grievance against the PC with the State Bar, and request a different PC be appointed.