PLEASE go to MEDIATION!


#1

Dear sam38:

Greetings again! I am glad to hear the advice worked for you and that you came to an agreement in mediation. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorcecom
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#2

Janet…Thanks for your answer.

Let me clear something up, this mediation was not for me. It was for a good friend of mine. Please read my post again. I stated my reasons for feeling the way I do about mediation and the courts.

There is a broad line between what is right and what is wrong. Children are the ones who get the short end of the line.

What is the “best interest of the child”? Do you feel that six (6) weeks of supervised visits, every Saturday, four hours, is more than enough time for a father that has had nothing to do with his child for 21 months, to get to know his child? These orders came from a family judge in court.

Thanks!


#3

Dear sam38:

Greetings. I think that mediation is the best place to settle custody cases, but sometimes seeing a judge is the only way for one party.

Now, luckily for me I am not a judge, so I do not have to say what I believe to be in the best interests of a child or not. I will say this, there are many studies which say that healthy, well-adjusted children need the influence and contact of both parents. Yes, he may have been in the wrong in the past, but if he is doing what is right now, we should commend him and help him on the path to doing what is right.

Many judges order a phase in schedule, including supervised visitation to reintroduce the child to the parent in varying time lengths and then day time visits unsupervised, and then unsupervised overnight visits. Aparently the judge who heard the evidence thought this was in the best interests, and I truly hope that it will be in the long run. There are rarely great resolutions in court, only the best outcomes a judge can do?

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorcecom
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#4

Thank you Janet.

Yes, I do hope everything works out for all. There will be a final hearing. I will keep you posted on the outcome.

I would like to say again, how much I appreciate the time that is given by the attorneys on this web-site, to gave the posters help with their everday legal problems.

Thanks again.


#5

Mediation only works when both parties are rational. In my case, I was dealing with a woman who suffers from a couple of personality disorders. Our required mediation session was several hours of tantrums and accusations (not to mention lots of wasted money in mediator and attorney fees).

I have no choice but to put the matter in the hands of a judge; my ex-to-be thinks that she deserves everything (including our child). Are most judges familiar with personality disorders (they tend to be “frequent fliers” in court)?


#6

I agree with ure, the same thing happened in my mediation. Although my ex-wife hasn’t been diagnosed with mental illness, her irrational behavior led even the mediator to question her logic behind the refusal to come to agreement. I know mediation is essential. It happens in everything from huge lawsuits to neighbors squabbling over who’s property a tree is located. It’s just too bad these sessions can’t be used for court, at least in my case. But I can see why they aren’t.

Thanks for everything you folks do


#7

Dear ure and alljams:

Greetings. Most attorneys can tell when a matter will be able to settle or not settle in mediation, but we are not always sure and a good mediator (one that has handled personality disorders, etc.) can help someone who is irrational to work towards a settlement.

Yes, I think that judges are very familiar with mental health issues and treatment, as they have to make decisions on a weekly basis that deal with custody of children when one or both parents have mental health issues. Best of luck!

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorcecom
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#8

Hello:

I would just like to say you were correct in saying," go to mediation on child custody and child support, try to come to SOME agreements".

I would just like to say to others who read this post, PARENTS come to some agreement (go to mediation NOT the judges) about how to raise your child/children, DON’T take this before a judge.

I am not condemning the courts, I think there is room for much improvement before the judges in family court. There are judges that do not follow legal procedures and he/she issues orders with false and/or insufficient information just to get the case off his/her docket.

I personally would suggest a fact-finding committee to determine just what problems result from the current system. Propose effective alternatives that could be implemented to help fix these problems.

Happier, healthier children being raised as the results of their parents, without the parents duking it out under the current legal rules & regulations.

A family court judge in my county just gave orders for visition to a friend of mine for her child who is just a toddler. The father had not seen the child for 21 months, did not want anything to do with the child until the mother filed for divorce, custody and child support. Father had not paid one penny for support in all these months. Now, the judge gave the father supervised visitation for ONLY a FEW WEEKS before the father can take the child for overnight visits. I can only think how TRAMUTIZING these will be for the child. The child does not know this person. Child support, another issue. The father was given a pat on the back by the judge. Pay child support if you want too. MY,MY what a system. By the way, the parents was in mediation (two) times, the father wouldn’t agree. He wanted to go before the judge, WELL, I suppose it was a good thing for him. Where is the “BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD” in this case??

Thanks!